THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, December 10, 1994 TAG: 9412090129
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E5 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Betsy Wright
LENGTH: Medium: 88 lines
ONE THING I love about my readers is that they never fail to let me know when I've goofed! Last week I spoke about the issue of religious assimilation and how it becomes a real issue when people of different faiths marry.
In trying to explain that the issue hasn't affected me personally - until now when two friends of different faiths are marrying - I made a comment about how as a Protestant I rarely think about the issue. I then flippantly said, ``Baptists marry Methodists everyday. Presbyterians and Episcopalians have kids together without remorse.''
The Rev. Douglas D. Gestwick of St. Mark United Methodist Church in Portsmouth quickly caught the error of my logic.
``The opening paragraphs of your column on religious assimilation has furthered the cause of confusion,'' Gestwick wrote. ``Too many people, when asked what their `religion' is, answer by giving the name of their denomination. What your column failed to make clear, and what many people in our society today have trouble understanding, is that Baptists, Methodists, Presbyterians and Episcopalians, as well as Catholics, all share the same faith, which is Christianity! These are not different religions, they are different ways of expressing the same religion. They may worship him in different ways, but for all of these groups, it is the same Jesus Christ who is Lord.
``. . . A marriage between a Jew and a non-Jew, or between a Christian and a non-Christian is an entirely different matter. In these instances, one truly is marrying out of the faith, and what you have termed `religious assimilation' becomes an issue. But you obfuscate the seriousness of this matter when you lop together mixed religions with mixed denominations, which are two completely different situations.''
Thanks, Doug, for the great catch! In trying to set the tone for my article, I overlooked a glaring error. I really do appreciate it when my readers let me know I've goofed. Keep up the good work, gang, and stay alert. It's you - the readers - who keep me honest!
Now, here are other responses to last week's column.
From Virginia Beach's Dr. Eugene Kanter, the immediate past president of Congregation Beth El: ``I just want to commend you for the very sensitive and perceptive article . . . Several years ago (you printed) a letter from a young girl who had written to you for help because she was the product of a mixed marriage. One of her parents was celebrating Christianity and the other was celebrating Judaism, and in the mixture she was confused and didn't know what she was or what to believe . . . Your friend J.P. is facing (the same) situation in her marriage. If she has children - and hopefully children will come - and if the father wants to celebrate Christmas with a Christmas tree and the mother wants to celebrate the Festival of Lights of Hanukkah, there will be a conflict in religions and of religious belief.
``(In) mixed marriages, the child many times does not get a sense of direction of which religion to follow . . . This one of the sensitive reasons why rabbis don't want to perform a mixed marriage. They they are well aware of the things that can happen.''
From the Rev. Donald Spitz of Chesapeake: ``Persons of the Jewish bloodline can belong to any faith or religion. I have personally met scores of Jews for Jesus believers while living in New York City. There are Jews in many cults, and Jews are even leaders and founders of many cult groups. A good friend of mine, born in Iraq, was raised Muslim and then converted to Catholicism before arriving in the United States. Yes, he was Jewish, and is still Jewish according to his ancestry, but his religion and faith are based on the New Testament teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ which transcends race or tradition.''
From Dr. Lawrence A. Forman, a Reform rabbi who performs interfaith marriages and is the senior rabbi of Ohef Sholom Temple in Norfolk: ``(While many Jews see a real danger in American religious assimilation) I believe there is another point of view. I have turned this perspective around and feel Judaism is right at home in America. We want to assimilate the highest values of America and we want to share the best of Jewish values which are intricately and ultimately part of our American Constitutional principles of freedom, democracy and the integrity, purpose and worth of every woman and man.
``I am involved in outreach to others. I embrace them and teach them about Judaism. My congregation continues to grow.
``I feel that America provides the `window of opportunity,' not only for the survival of a strong, viable Judaism in America, but for increasing the ranks of Jewish people. When we accept others freely and with love, then their children will be the defenders of the faith for the future.''
And for all who asked about the outcome of the meeting with my friend and her rabbi: It went very well. I plan to write a follow-up column sometime in January . . . this time about Baby Boomers finding their faith. by CNB