THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, December 16, 1994 TAG: 9412140132
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 1B EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY PAM STARR, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 105 lines
Growing up is never easy, but throw in extra pounds and life can be downright unbearable for some children.
Overweight kids are the ones who are always picked last in gym class. They can't run a mile in a certain amount of time. Other children taunt them mercilessly and call them names.
Kids can be cruel. And when you look different in any way, you become an easy target. Megan Siewers, 12, has been teased for more than four years, even though her 5-foot-4-inch frame is carrying only 20 more pounds than it should.
But this year the Blair Middle School student in Norfolk fought back with the only weapon at her disposal - her self-confidence. Megan took a 15-week program on weight management and self-esteem where she learned how to feel better about herself and make wiser choices about food. The result?
She has lost a few pounds but, more importantly, her self-esteem has soared.
``People aren't doing it (teasing) anymore,'' said Megan. ``The program taught me how to cope and really helped me with myself. I feel good.''
Licensed clinical social worker Gary Rotfus and nutritionist Frances Casper are the ones who created the weekly program that Megan and several other overweight children have attended. Rotfus was seeing a lot of children with weight problems in his practice at Fairfield Psychological Associates. While Rotfus aided them in overcoming feelings of low self-worth, he knew nothing about nutrition.
So Rotfus asked Casper of Consultants in Nutritional Services to help him create a step-by-step approach for children and adolescents ages 8 through 17 on weight management and self-esteem.
The key to the program isn't weight loss, however. Rotfus and Casper want children to take responsibility for their emotional and physical health and to be happy no matter what their weight.
``We see kids who have problems with poor self-image - and others see them that way, too,'' said Rotfus, who has been working with youths and their families for 17 years. ``We want kids to assert themselves more, to manage stress better. That's how we judge success.''
Participants meet with the two professionals in a group setting 45 minutes a week. Their parents are met with separately and are expected to be supportive of their children's attempt to change a pattern of behavior and lifestyle. That can be a lot harder than it sounds, said Casper, a nutritionist for more than 20 years.
It's even harder if the child has been taught since Day One to be a member of the ``Clean Plate Club.''
``Parents need to set limits, be consistent and less controlling,'' Casper said. ``Parents often have a distorted view of how much to eat. They tell the child to `eat all this and you'll get dessert.' Food should not be used as a reward.''
Nor should food be used as a mood enhancer. Most adults who are overweight use food to calm down, celebrate, manage stress, stuff angry feelings or eliminate boredom, she said. Children are no different, and they take cues from their parents. Some of the children in the group have weighed more than 250 pounds.
``My interest is in dispelling the diet mentality. I tell children to eat when physically hungry, not emotionally hungry,'' said Casper. ``There are no bad foods, but a balanced variety of foods is encouraged. We want them to think about why they're eating.''
One problem that many families face is two working parents who don't come home until 5 or 6 o'clock every day. Their children may be left alone for two or three hours, said Casper, and instead of exercising may eat ``huge amounts'' of food while watching television and then sleep.
It's easy to see how the weight can creep up on a child, and how a parent can become concerned. But sometimes that concern turns into a control issue, said Rotfus. Well-meaning parents who try to control their children's eating habits do more harm than good - especially if the parents are also overweight.
``Parents have a hard time recognizing they're role models for their children,'' Rotfus said. ``Kids will wonder why it's OK for mom not to have to make changes. Parents need to help them practice taking responsibility.''
Children in the group are asked to make two changes in their eating habits each week. They are given diaries to write down what they eat every day and how they felt at the time. They're not supposed to weigh themselves. Rotfus also encourages them to exercise with their parents, even if it's just taking a walk around the block together or riding bikes.
In Megan's case, she has begun to check out the fat grams on food in the grocery stores when she shops with her mother, Remo Siewers.
Siewers credits the program with ``giving Megan her self-esteem back.''
``I think the program has helped Megan to hold her head up and to accept herself more,'' said Siewers. ``It showed her how to react to different situations, and it was real good for her to hear other girls' stories.
``I just want her to adjust to her weight and be proud of herself whether she's skinny or large.'' MEMO: Gary Rotfus and Frances Casper will be starting a new group in January.
For information on cost and meeting times, call Rotfus at 424-0100 or
Casper at 466-7510.
ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by PETER D. SUNDBERG
Gary Rotfus and Frances Casper have created a program that helps
children, ages 8 through 17, with weight management and
self-esteem.
KEYWORDS: WEIGHT MANAGEMENT TEENAGER by CNB