THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, December 21, 1994 TAG: 9412210403
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Bob Molinaro
LENGTH: Medium: 70 lines
In 1994, sports suffered a Gillooly.
The on-again, off-again husband of Tonya Harding was the poster child for the Oprah, Geraldo, Maury malaise that coated the world of athletic competition.
Jeff Gillooly found uncommon celebrity through spectacular failure. He was ridiculed and thrown into prison.
Meanwhile, his victim, Nancy Kerrigan grew very rich, the Winter Olympics pulled down huge Nielsen ratings, and figure skating began appearing on TV more often than Larry King.
One day, just wait, Gillooly will be rewarded with his own talk show. Until then, he will have to settle for having these year-end awards for achievement in sports named after him.
The Gilloolys go to:
Michael Jordan: At least Scottie Pippen sat out only 1.8 seconds. Jordan removed himself from the lineup for the final game of his first minor league baseball season so his batting average wouldn't drop below .200.
Tonya Harding: Friday, in her first public performance since the Winter Olympics, the proletarian princess will skate at a suburban Portland rink dressed as the wife of Santa Claus.
Dream Team II: For making us proud to be trash-talking, crotch-grabbing, finger-pointing, hip-wiggling, chest-bumping Americans.
Virginia Beach: The resort city learned that you can lead the horse racing commission to the waterfront, but you can't make it drink.
O.J. Simpson: For most appearances on television in a recurring role.
Robert Shapiro: Reggie McKenzie charged a lot less when he led interference for O.J.
The National Hockey League: For forcing the layoffs of innocent dentists and Zamboni drivers.
Roberto Baggio: In truth, the Italian soccer superstar thought he was auditioning as a placekicker for the L.A. Raiders when he sailed that penalty kick over the crossbar in the World Cup final.
Ken Burns: His 16-hour PBS documentary showcased George Will more than Ted Williams or Willie Mays.
Andre Agassi: On the court, he sometimes wears one white sock and one black sock to make a statement. What would that statement be? That he gets dressed in the dark?
Marge Schott: After her ``Only fruits wear earrings'' crack, it was suspected that the Cincinnati Reds owner was working for the Florida citrus growers.
Richard Ravitch and Donald Fehr: Fun couple of the year.
Shaquille O'Neal: After returning from a trip to Greece, the Shaq was asked if he had visited the Parthenon. ``I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to,'' he said.
Tom Watson: For writing a letter that may have resulted in the dismissal of Gary McCord from the Masters golf telecast.
Spike Lee: The Muggsy Bogues of movie making made a fool of himself while heckling Reggie Miller into a 29-point fourth quarter in Indiana's playoff game victory over the Knicks.
San Antonio Spurs coach Bob Hill: For keeping a straight face when he said of Dennis Rodman, ``You go beyond the hair, the tattoos and the earrings, and he's like you and I.''
Richard Williams: The father of 14-year old tennis phenom Venus Williams openly rooted for his daughter's opponents in her first pro tournament.
The writers of the movie ``Dumb and Dumber'': Is there any doubt that they had Shawn Eckhardt and Jeff Gillooly in mind? by CNB