THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, January 17, 1995 TAG: 9501170287
SECTION: FRONT PAGE: A4 EDITION: FINAL
SERIES: The Subject is Sex
DAY 3
How should we talk about sex?
LENGTH: Medium: 65 lines
Growing up with six older brothers, Rudy Howard got exposed to sex early. He heard them talking about itand found their condom stashes. Their answers to his questions just made him more curious.
``Your older brothers, they'll tell you in a way, but it's like slang,'' he said. ``You don't understand unless you are experiencing it.''
His first time was six years ago, at 13. Since then, he has figured out that there are two kinds of sex.
There's sex that comes out of deep feelings for a girl he has dated awhile and respects. The kind of girl who stays on his mind, even when she's not around. ``Like you listen to a song and you remember, dang, we was driving down the street and laughing and joking on that song,'' he said.
But his time is eaten up by sports - football, basketball, track - and keeping his grades up. He doesn't have much time for girls.
That's where the other kind of sex comes in. Straight, raw feelings. One-night stands. He tried it once or twice. Called a pretty girl from school on the phone, then met her at a Portsmouth hotel room.
``Cut on the radio. A hug, stare in the eye, a kiss, passionate kiss, then the clothes come off,'' he said. ``You do what you have to do.''
- Esther Diskin Wanda Camm
All Wanda Camm wanted was to buy her 5-year-old son a stuffed animal. Her husband said no.
``My husband had a fit and said, `You're going to turn him into a sissy,' '' said Camm, 40, of Virginia Beach.
``But how is he going to learn how to hold, how to love if he doesn't have anything to hold? . . . They're not taught to love or to be sensitive. Girls are and boys aren't.''
Camm divorced when her son was 11 and has worked hard as a single parent to teach him the facts of life.
When her son was 7, Camm began explaining sex and the responsibilities it brings. She later introduced the subjects of AIDS, birth control and why men don't have menstrual cycles.
She also restricted her dating, only going out with girlfriends and not bringing male friends home ``because I didn't want him to lose that respect for me.''
Her son, now 18, recently assured her that he hadn't.
``He went to live with his father and I made him promise me he'd go to church. He said, `Promise me you'll go out and have a good time,' '' Camm said.
``He said, `You've spent all this time raising me; now it's time for you to have some fun yourself.' ''
- Denise Watson ILLUSTRATION: TAMARA VONINSKI/Staff Photos
Rudy Howard
Wanda Camm
by CNB