THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, February 11, 1995 TAG: 9502110044
SECTION: BUSINESS PAGE: D1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY LON WAGNER, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Short : 50 lines
Here is what not to put on a resume: ``Work History: Unsuccessfully searched for a job, incompletion of graduate program, took Bar exam and failed.''
Sound ridiculous?
Personnel expert Robert Half has been compiling resume blunders, misspellings and downright hilarious misstatements for 40 years. Half's examples, which he calls ``Resumania,'' show how easy it is for people to get their resumes tossed in the trash - or passed around the office for chuckles - even in the day of spelling and grammar checkers.
The attempts by some resume writers to veil the true nature of a job have been lampooned for years. Check this one out: ``Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting.'' (Short-order cook or hamburger flipper.)
Sometimes it's possible to be, well, a little too honest, Half says. Who would hire someone who revealed these truth bombs?
Finished eighth in my high school graduating class of 10.
References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
Qualifications: No education or experience.
Half's advice to avoid embarrassing mistakes is simple: have several friends read over a resume before sending it out. It may sound overly simplistic, but some of Half's examples are enough to show why it would be worthwhile.
One job applicant bragged about being ``instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.'' Half sarcastically wondered how big of a role the person played in ruining the chain.
Other examples of resume blunders demonstrate why it's not a good idea to try to be funny when applying for a job:
Personal interests: Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.
I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant.
Then there was the applicant who didn't quite understand what it meant to be ``loyal.''
``I am loyal to my employer at all costs,'' the applicant wrote in a cover letter. ``Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color graphic
by CNB