THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, March 15, 1995 TAG: 9503150477
SECTION: MILITARY NEWS PAGE: A8 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: MY TURN
SOURCE: MARY MAHONEY
LENGTH: Medium: 69 lines
There is a saying that has been aggravating me for a long time. I see it on coffee mugs at work, on T-shirts in the mall and car bumpers. It's everywhere!
``Navy Wife. It's The Toughest Job in the Navy.''
It may sell merchandise, but I hate it.
I am interested to know how many wives really believe that what they do is tougher than what their spouses do for the Navy.
I agree that being a Navy wife is sometimes a difficult task. I have complained on a few occasions about being left behind to handle all the responsibilities of running our home when my sailor leaves for a deployment.
I think when this slogan was written, it was with the many deployments a sailor faces in mind.
But I have never felt that it was tougher for me at home than for Bill when he was deployed. I have never been asked to work 24 hours a day. I do not have to spend countless hours with, or be polite to, people whom I wouldn't normally associate with.
When I am bored, I can leave the house for a change of scenery. I can eat what I want, whenever I want.
My sailor lives and works with hundreds of other service members for months at a time in a very confined space during a deployment. Bill is not able to leave the ship, sometimes for many weeks.
He must stay on board and make the best of the situation. He looks for things to do to occupy his free time. The menu for deployed sailors is limited and they can only eat during certain hours.
Plus, most sailors are required to stand duty. For some this occurs every third day, for others, it is once a month.
And this is not a job requirement only when they're deployed. Having duty or standing a watch can be required on any given day, during any hours. It is a requirement that has no regard for anniversaries, birthdays or holidays.
In addition, since downsizing came into effect, a lot of Navy personnel are working much longer hours, one sailor doing the job of two or more.
I often let people know I am a military spouse. It is not something I am ashamed of. I have never used the fact that I am a military wife to get sympathy or pity. Through the years, I have met many who do.
I joke about trying the whining and crying routine and saying, ``I am a military spouse, my husband's gone and I have no one here to fix it. Can you please look at it today?''
In such a large military area, I think I would be laughed at if I ever tried that to gain faster or better service.
Sure, appliances break, the kid gets sick and cars stop working for no apparent reason two weeks after he leaves. It is my opinion that handling the finances, pets and all of the daily chores of running a household are not so tough to deal with.
The fact of the matter is there is no way being a military wife can be the toughest job ``in the Navy.'' I am married to the Navy, not a member of it. Please ladies, stop using your husbands' career choice as a crutch.
OK, I will confess I am jealous he has been to many countries that I will only ever see on a postcard. Visiting foreign ports doesn't seem so tough.
But I do not own anything with the ``Navy wife'' phrase on it. I never have. I would prefer it read, ``Navy Wife and proud of it.''
But if this phrase is going to be merchandised, let's at least be politically correct.
It should read, ``Military Spouse. It's the Toughest Job in the Navy.'' MEMO: Mary Mahoney's column appears monthly in Military News. by CNB