THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, April 23, 1995 TAG: 9504190043
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K4 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: REAL MOMENTS
SOURCE: BY MARGARET ANN SEAGRAVES
LENGTH: Medium: 79 lines
INITIALLY, acronyms were probably a pretty good idea. Hey, who has time to say ``I'll have a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich and hold the mayonnaise''?
And what would ``ER'' on TV be like if they couldn't say stuff like, ``Start an IV STAT or this man will be DOA''?
But lately, all this short speak has gotten completely OH (out of hand).
From the time we get up in the a.m. and knock down a glass of OJ till we turn off the VCR in the p.m., we live in a world of initials and acronyms.
GAB (gimme a break). Have we completely lost our IQs?
People probably have been throwing around initials since the time when A&E (Adam and Eve) were checking out the GOE (Garden of Eden).
But if there's anyone to blame for getting us into this serious love affair with initials, it's got to be FDR. He created the CCC, WPA, TVA and all those other Depression-fighting agencies, and made us get SSNs.
Then came the post-WWII era when the GIs came home to a bewildering world of gadgets, gizmos and specialization that was growing faster than we could name it.
And now we face this daily army of acronyms bigger than the GDP (formerly, the GNP). We flick on ABC, CBS, NBC on CNN to get the latest on OJ and his DNA.
And then if we're CEOs we hop into our BMWs, crank up the AC, turn on FM and head for work. If we're an M.D. or R.N., it's off to the ER or OR. Others of us report to NOB, NAVSTA, NNSY, FD&CC LANT, UPS, HQ, or even the FBI, IRS or VP/LS.
Sometime during the day we'll use a phone and have to decide between AT&T and MCI. Or is that MRI? Most likely, we'll FAX someone.
Lunch? We could hit the special at IHOP or just stay in the office and have a PB&J and an RC.
On the way home, a stop at the ATM might be necessary before picking up dinner at KFC and maybe some dessert from DQ.
Before turning in, we might RSVP an invitation or write for that recipe that sounded so good on TV. Of course, including a SASE.
That, as you well know, isn't not the half of it. If you're a parent, you probably belong to the PTA. But that's nothing. If your kid is in high school, she's probably already thinking about attending UVA, ODU, NSU, JMU, W&M, TCC or NSU. In that case, it is important that she take the SATs.
Then, in order to qualify for financial aid, the first step is completing your FAFSA and FAF, after which you'll receive the SAR, but you'll also need to include a copy of your IRS-1040A, which you can't fill out until you receive your W-2, which notifies you of your income and the amount withheld for FICA. Yes, FICA.
Of course, she'd better have an impressive GPA and have taken the right AP classes. Which means she's done some some OCR (out of class reading) and performed well on RIAs (red ink activities, or in other words, tests), according to my daughter's biology teacher.
Another form you may be filling out sometime soon is for a driver's license at the DMV, provided you haven't had any DUIs (Is DUI different from DWI?) Once you receive your license, it might be wise to join AAA, as well as checking to be sure your insurance policy is up to date . . . . GEICO, anyone?
A recent occurrence at my son's school reminded me of another realm of acronyms every mother becomes more than familiar with. The Public Health Department had recently been administering the MMR(NU)2 to students who had only received the MMR(NU)1 during the sequence of childhood immunizations, which every mother knows starts with the DPT shot and the OPV. Later, a TB test will be performed, and then there's . . . .
I get tired just thinking of all those acronyms. So I think I'll curl up in my EZ chair and watch ``ER'' on TV, or listen to a CD, or maybe check my E-mail on the PC.
Better yet, think I'll call it a day and catch some Zzzzzzs. MEMO: Readers are invited to submit their own real moments. Write to Fred
Kirsch, Real Moments, Virginian-Pilot/Ledger-Star, 150 W. Brambleton
Ave., Norfolk, Va. 23510.
by CNB