THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, April 30, 1995 TAG: 9504260035
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K7 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: HE SAID, SHE SAID
SOURCE: KERRY DOUGHERTY & DAVE ADDIS
LENGTH: Long : 104 lines
DAVE SAYS:
Kerry, there's something going on that I don't understand - and, come to think of it, it's frightening how often I make that confession.
The Gallup organization - those annoying poll-people who say they know what every American brain cell is thinking at any given moment - has released its annual ``most admired'' lists. Here's who they say are the 10 most admired women in the world:
1. Hillary Clinton 2. Mother Teresa 3. Barbara Bush 4. Margaret Thatcher 5. Oprah Winfrey 6. Princess Diana 7. Maya Angelou 8. Queen Elizabeth 9. (tie) Elizabeth Taylor and Nancy Reagan.
Liz Taylor? Nancy Reagan? Gotta tell ya, Kerry, if either of them showed up on my doorstep I'd throw the deadbolt and call the cops.
Only four women on the list - Mother Teresa, Maya, Hillary and Oprah - are doing anything that could be loosely viewed as socially valuable. And that's giving Hillary and Oprah the benefit of the doubt.
The rest of the list is filled by two wives of retired presidents; a self-possessed shell of an actress who hasn't turned in a decent performance in 25 years, other than a couple of improv skits at the Betty Ford Clinic; a retired British prime minister; and, from that same odd little island of my ancestors, a tarnished slattern of a princess and a queen whose relevance doesn't extend much further than her own stately bodice.
Good grief, these last two are the women who spawned and married Prince Charles. One might pity them for that alone, but admire them? Please.
I suppose the list could be more embarrassing. Cher could be on it. Or Donna Shalala.
What does this say about the status of women in the 1990s, Kerry? Are modern heroines in such short supply that we have to pump up the memories of a handful women whose skills run little past the ability to smile, curtsey, and keep their best side turned toward a camera?
Where was Marcia Clark when they took this poll? Forget the hissy-fits over her hairdos. You have to admit she's one shrewd, nasty little rat-terrier who isn't one bit afraid of the big dogs on the other side of the O.J. trial.
Why not E. Annie Proulx? E. Annie who? Winner of the '94 Pulitzer Prize for the novel, ``The Shipping News,'' and far and away the best female fiction writer in America.
If one must include a TV star, dump Oprah and add news analyst Cokie Roberts. Her whip-smart weekly shredding of Sam Donaldson on the Brinkley show makes it worthwhile to crawl out of bed Sunday mornings.
And why not an actress who's actually working? Where are Meryl Streep, Ellen Barkin? Or Jodie Foster, who stepped away from the cameras long enough to earn a degree from Yale? How do you suppose Liz Taylor whiled away those four years?
What a sad bunch. If I were in your high heels, Kerry, I'd call Mr. Gallup and demand a recount.
KERRY SAYS:
Dave, let's ask ourselves, where was this poll taken - a country club in Orange County, California?
This list of men isn't any prettier. There's Bill Clinton at Numero Uno. 2. Jimmy Carter. 3. Pope John Paul II and Nelson Mandela (tied) 5. George Bush. 6. Ronald Reagan 7. Billy Graham 8. Rush Limbaugh 9. Norman Schwarzkopf and 10. Colin Powell.
Honestly. The last time so many right-wing wackos were together was at an Ollie North pep rally.
But all things considered, the male list is not as laughable as the female list. Thankfully it contains no sports figures or entertainers.
The president - whoever it is - probably belongs in the No. 1 slot.
And Jimmy Carter, the Pope and Nelson Mandela are all worthy of respect. So far so good.
From there we get into some turgid water. George Bush? Then again, he was our first non-English speaking president and a man with a fine sense of humor - evidenced by his choice of a running mate.
Ronald Reagan. This is soooooo tempting. There was a time when I could have had a field day with this one, Dave. But ever since his illness was disclosed, Reagan was taken off the fair-game list.
Billy Graham. Well, OK, maybe he ought to be there. Maybe. Excuse me for having a long memory - every time I see Billy Graham I think Richard Nixon.
Rush Limbaugh. The most amazing thing about him is how he manages to haul around that enormous ego and still walk upright.
Stormin' Norman. Name one thing this guy has done in the past three years that makes him worthy of Gallup's list? He did engineer a short war almost five years ago, but he forgot a few things. Saddam's still thumbing his nose at us, Normy.
Colin Powell. Since when do enigmas make the top 10 list? People mention him as presidential timber but we don't even know what political forest he inhabits.
I look at this list and see a few things to be thankful for. Dan Quayle isn't there. Neither are Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sonny Bono, Donald Trump or Chuck Robb.
Maybe I'm cynical, but I can't think of very many men I admire.
I scrape around the barrel for a few and here's what I come up with: John Warner. If his ex-wife could make the female list, why not this guy - who aggravates both liberals and conservatives and who boasts an amazing attendance record in the U.S. Senate?
You want political has-beens? I give you two: Mario Cuomo, an orator and a man of principles, and Jack Kemp, a Republican with a heart and the brains not to run for president.
So, Dave, be careful picking apart that list of women. The lineup of guys couldn't have any more gluepots on it if Mr. Ed were on top. by CNB