THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, May 19, 1995 TAG: 9505180245
SECTION: CHESAPEAKE CLIPPER PAGE: 03 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JANELLE LA BOUVE, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 74 lines
John M. Downs describes his wife of 27 years as ``as close to a saint as anyone has ever known.''
His praises in a letter to the Indian River Ruritan Club resulted in the selection of Deborah Downs as the club's ``Mother of the Year.''
The letter said his wife's day routinely begins at sun-up and ends at midnight or later, that she's the mother of six, that she faithfully cared for her ailing mother until her death, that she serves on two church committees and that she bakes cookies for the children's school activities.
``Her whole life has been epitomized in the word mother,'' he wrote.
The Ruritans were convinced.
Keeping the news a surprise until Mother's Day last Sunday was a bit tricky, especially after family members pitched in on Saturday to clean her whole house.
When Deborah Downs arrived home from Prince of Peace Catholic Church on Mother's Day, she dressed in work clothes and headed outside to do some gardening - a favorite hobby. At about 2 p.m., John Downs gently suggested that she change clothes in case unexpected guests arrived.
Soon, to Deborah Downs' surprise, a committee of Ruritan Club members showed up to present the award, which included an orchid and an engraved silver tray.
``I can't think of a higher honor,'' she said later. ``There's nothing I'd rather be than mother of the year.''
Downs' life has not been without difficulties, but she has taken them all in stride.
When the couple's fifth child was born with birth defects, the prognosis was that the child's life span would be short.
``That's been a special challenge for Deborah,'' John Downs said. ``She has been very loving, patient and devoted. Our daughter is now 15 and I think my wife's caring had a lot to do with that.''
Before her father's death in 1988, Downs' parents and her grandmother lived together in Moyock. Afterward, the Downses built an apartment onto the back of their house and asked the two older family members to move in with them.
Her mother had breast cancer, but it was degenerative arthritis that kept her bedridden for the next five years.
Now it is Downs' grandmother who needs around-the-clock care.
``My wife does not complain,'' John Downs said. ``She just does what needs to be done. Caring for an invalid is like caring for an infant.''
``The special things that I see as her husband and a father are the things Deborah has taught our kids,'' he said. ``I'm kind of a distant person. She has taught our children to share, respect and love each other and be real brothers and sisters and a family.
``Sometimes when I come home from my part-time job at 1 a.m., she'll be baking cookies for the kids to take to school for a party or something,'' he said. ``Even with all the responsibility, she has tried to make each occasion a special event for the kids,'' he said. ``She's really patient with me. That makes it easier for me to do the things I have to deal with.''
But Deborah Downs said she simply does what family is supposed to do.
``I came from a family like that,'' she said. ``My great-grandmother took care of everybody. That's the kind of family we've always been. The family has been a big help to me. We've had a lot of practice.
``My joys and satisfactions are too many to mention,'' she said. ``When I look at my grandson and my daughter, I don't know where the time has gone since she was that age. It was like it was yesterday that she was that little toddler and into everything.
``My family is everything to me,'' she said. ``When I get to the end, it'll be the people who loved me and the people I loved that are important.'' ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by MORT FRYMAN
Indian River Ruritan Club picked Deborah Downs as ``Mother of the
Year.''
by CNB