THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, May 30, 1995 TAG: 9505270063
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: Craig Shapiro
LENGTH: Long : 126 lines
YOU GUYS who've stuck with this column from the start surely have come to one concrete conclusion - besides ``There must be better ways to waste my time.''
It's this: Videomatic is the first line of defense for second-string movies, those with no purpose other than serving up cheap thrills and/or desperate performances that redefine the ``craft'' that is acting.
The staff is serious about this, so serious that after exhaustive meetings and many paradigm shifts, we set up guidelines to help you choose between, oh, ``Gandhi'' and ``Galaxy of Terror.'' Remember the Videomatic Renting Rules?
No. 1. Don't know the star? Rent the tape.
No. 2. Does a has-been play second fiddle? Rent the tape.
No. 3. Is it a Full Moon production (``Oblivion,'' ``Shrunken Heads'')? Rent the tape.
And with today's arrival of ``Embrace of the Vampire'' (New Line), that ever-expanding checklist expands again.
No. 4. Is a TV star trying to dump her goody two-shoes image? Rent the tape.
Alyssa Milano, who played Samantha on ``Who's the Boss?'' stars in this direct-to-video cheapie, and the PR stuff that came with it indicates it ain't ``Wuthering Heights.''
``You're about to uncover Alyssa Milano in a most revealing role . . . ''
That about sums it up. For the record, Milano plays a college freshman who grew up in a convent. She doesn't know it, but hers is a lost soul - that of a woman loved by a vampire before he joined the undead. He's spent centuries looking for her but can't taste her pure blood until she loves him. If she doesn't in three days, he goes beddy-bye for good.
Yes, it rips off ``Bram Stoker's Dracula'' and ``Interview With the Vampire'' (which comes out next Tuesday).
Yes, it makes no sense. ``Bram Stoker's Dracula'' was a stinker. And since when do vampires let love get in the way of a good meal? Martin Kemp, co-founder of the British rock group Spandau Ballet and co-star of ``The Krays,'' really pours it on as the tortured fiend. He's a hoot.
``Embrace of the Vampire'' (RATED: R for nudity, language, violence; 92 mins.) isn't about making sense anyway. It's about Rule No. 4. To say Milano sheds her TV image is an understatement.
As B movies go, this one falls into the category So Bad It's Good. Besides, there are worse ways to waste a few brain cells.
Flashback
As we've already implied, dealing with the undead carries a responsibility to play by the rules. ``Embrace of the Vampire'' doesn't, but the Milano Factor forgives all transgressions.
One flick that did a good job with the myth, updating it by mixing laughs and scares, is ``Fright Night'' (1985). William Ragsdale is the teen-next-door who suspects his new neighbor (silky Chris Sarandon) is a vampire.
He is. The problem is getting someone to believe it. Finally, Charley recruits a faded monster-movie star, now host of a late-night creature feature. Roddy McDowell is perfect, bringing an old pro's touch to the proceedings. Director Tom Holland (``Child's Play'') doesn't skimp on the FX or thrills, making for a frightfully good time.
ODDS & ENDS: It's been seven years since ``Cinderella'' was in circulation, so Disney is dusting it off for an Oct. 6 re-release. The 1950 classic has been restored for the occasion, just like the studio did with ``Snow White'' and ``Fantasia.'' It will go for $26.99.
Warner is bringing out ``500 Nations,'' the sweeping documentary about our country's Native American heritage. The eight cassettes are $19.95 each or $139.92 for the set. Kevin Costner is the host.
Looking for some action? John Woo's explosive ``Hard Boiled'' (Fox Lorber) is now $19.98 - as are a half-dozen animated adventures from Streamline Pictures: ``Doomed Megalopolis: The Haunting of Tokyo'' and ``The Fall of Tokyo,'' and four ``Crying Freeman'' yarns: ``Portrait of a Killer,'' ``Shades of Death'' (Parts 1 and 2), and ``A Taste of Revenge.''
It isn't THE Three Stooges, but ``Around the World in a Daze,'' ``Have Rocket, Will Travel,'' ``The Outlaw Is Coming,'' ``Three Stooges in Orbit,'' ``Stop! Look! and Laugh!'' and ``The Three Stooges Meet Hercules'' should be good for a nyuk. From Columbia TriStar, $14.95 a pop.
Columbia TriStar also has repriced four films of a historical nature. ``The Grace Kelly Story'' and ``Eleanor, First Lady of the World'' are $19.95 each, ``Robert Kennedy and His Times'' and ``Sadat,'' $24.95.
Paramount is releasing Episodes 57-62 of ``Star Trek: The Next Generation.'' ``The Vengeance Factor,'' ``The Defector,'' ``The Hunted,'' ``The High Ground,'' ``Deja Q'' and ``A Matter of Perspective'' go for $14.95 each.
TOP TAPES (in Billboard):
Sales: ``Forrest Gump,'' ``The Lion King,'' ``The Pagemaster,'' ``Angels in the Outfield,'' ``The Mask''
Rentals: ``Forrest Gump,'' ``The Shawshank Redemption,'' ``Quiz Show,'' ``Terminal Velocity,'' ``The Specialist''
The Couch Report
``Legends of the Fall'' (Columbia TriStar, 1994). It's hard to imagine a more gorgeous movie; set in Montana in the early 1900s, every frame says ``epic.'' There are fine performances from wild child Brad Pitt and Aidan Quinn as his straight-arrow brother. Director Edward Zwick (``Glory'') keeps the hefty narrative on track. But given its reach, the Ludlow saga - a disillusioned cavalry officer retreats to the frontier with his three sons - falls short. It unfolds too conveniently, allowing little dramatic tension and no time for viewers to get involved. Still, it's a noble try. (Due Wednesday) Videomatic rating: B-
(CAST: Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, Aidan Quinn, Julia Ormond, Henry Thomas. RATED: R for language, violence, brief nudity; 134 mins.)
``Raining Stones'' (Fox Lorber, 1994). A slice of working-class British life that's as savory as shepherd's pie. Bob Williams would like to make ends meet. ``I'm just ducking and weaving, trying to keep my head above water.'' That's what he does - rustling sheep, clearing drains, working at a disco so his daughter can have a dress for Communion. Life is more complex, and so is this compassionate little movie. For all of its humor, it makes a convincing case for faith, love and justice. Videomatic rating: A
(CAST: Bruce Jones, Julie Brown, Ricky Tomlinson, Tom Hickey, Gemma Phoenix. UNRATED: language, mild violence, brief nudity; 90 mins.)
Also: Three imports: ``Up to a Certain Point,'' a romantic comedy from Tomas Gutierrez Alea (``Strawberry and Chocolate''); ``Divertimento,'' a shortened version of last year's ``La Belle Noiseuse''; and ``In a Year of 13 Moons,'' Rainer Werner Fassbinder's dark 1979 comedy about men in drag.
NEXT TUESDAY: ``Interview With the Vampire,'' ``Safe Passage,'' ``Junior,'' ``The Adventures of Batman and Robin,'' ``Attack of the 60-Foot Centerfold,'' ``Dead Air,'' ``Tyson,'' ``Mike Tyson the Inside Story'' ILLUSTRATION: Photo
Alyssa Milano...
Photo by KERRY HAYES, TriStar Pictures
Susanna (Julia Ormond) is torn between Tristan (Brad Pitt) and his
brother in the newly released ``Legends of the Fall.''
by CNB