THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, July 11, 1995 TAG: 9507110047
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E4 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: CHILD LIFE
SOURCE: Beverly Mills
LENGTH: Medium: 58 lines
Child Life is a forum for parents to ask child-rearing questions and share advice with other parents.
Q. What can we do about a child who is extremely intolerant of other people's normal noises - breathing, eating, talking, singing, laughing, etc.? His noises - the TV and stereo - have to be louder than anyone else's to drown it all out. This behavior is driving the rest of us crazy. - D.W., San Antonio, Texas
A. This problem could be as complicated as a learning disability or as straight-forward as a child who's trying to get attention. In either case, the solution is basically the same. It's also fairly simple: Find a way to respect the child's needs without disrupting the rest of the family, parents and child behavior experts say.
``If he's turning up the radio and finding it easier to concentrate that way, then he should use headphones and family should understand,'' says Michele Williams, a mother from Miami. ``That way he gets what he wants without disturbing the family.''
If you're trying to get to the underlying cause of the problem, think about when it started. ``If the child has been sensitive to noises from an early age, then it's part of his nature,'' says Stanley Turecki, M.D., author of ``The Emotional Problems of Normal Children'' (Bantam, $22.95). ``Also, is the child showing other problems, such as aggression, anxiousness, fearfulness or problems with school or peers?'' If the answer to any of these questions is yes, it's a good idea to have the child screened buy a health care professional.
Several parents whose children have been diagnosed with learning problems and attention disorders say this behavior sounds a little too familiar.
``My daughter has this problem and I have also had students with this problem,'' says Rosalinda Ratachack, a teacher from Atlanta. ``It may be that when he's trying to pay attention, he can't sort out background noise. A learning specialist may be able to help.''
Another good clue is whether normal noise bothers the child away from home. ``If it's a vicious cycle only at home, there may be an emotional problem or a family problem that needs to be addressed,'' Turecki says.
It could be something as simple as a child who's trying to get attention, says Katharine Kersey, Ed.D., chairman of the child studies department at Old Dominion University, and author of ``Helping Your Child Handle Stress'' (Berkley, $10). ``Or it could be a sign of pent-up anger and a child who needs to talk about his feelings,'' Kersey says. Make sure the child has enough privacy and a space to call his own, Kersey advises.
``No matter what the cause of the problem, the child should not be allowed to dominate family interaction,'' Turecki says. Pick a time when things are going well and talk to the child calmly. by CNB