THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc. DATE: Saturday, August 19, 1995 TAG: 9508180046 SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL TYPE: Column SOURCE: Larry Maddry LENGTH: Medium: 74 lines
I SNIPPED OPEN the envelope and took a quick look at the press release that said that Prince Sports Group is trying to find the world's biggest corn by holding a contest. I figured it would go to somebody living in Oklahoma.
That's where ``the corn is as high as an elephant's eye and looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky,'' right?
A couple of days later, Prince representative Paul Cheung was on the phone from New York. He asked if I had received the information from Prince about the World's Biggest Corn Contest.
He said Prince, the well-known maker of tennis rackets, was coming out with a new line of Precision Shoes for tennis that were designed in the shape of the human foot. He said most tennis shoes looked like torpedoes.
``So your little worldwide contest will be to find the largest corn on somebody's foot, Mr. Cheung?''
``That's right.''
``What if someone has a corn on their head?''
``On your head it's a bump,'' he said.
``What about cornrows on the head?''
``It has to be on your foot,'' he replied.
He said the winner of the World's Largest Corn contest would receive a free Prince tennis racket and a pair of comfortable new Precision Shoes.
I told him I was concerned about his little contest because it appeared that it was being run by a bunch of corn flakes from New York.
Hours later, I received a call from Tim Schram, an account executive with Jericho Productions. Jericho is doing publicity for the contest.
Schram wanted to know if I had any questions. I told him that as a corn owner and possible contestant, I was concerned about the contest's integrity.
``People send you snapshots of their corns, right?''
``Right,'' he replied.
``How do you know the snapshots aren't doctored? How do you know people aren't going to put powdered doughnuts on their toes and tell you they are corns?
Maybe superimpose a huge mushroom, possibly an atomic cloud atop their toes, Mr. Schram?''
``You think people would do that?''
``Yeah, and put a lifesaving ring from a boat around one and claim it was a Dr. Scholl's corn plaster.''
He said Prince had received several hundred entries with photos so far and that not one appears to have been doctored. ``We are taking people at their word.''
He said the largest corn he had seen in a contest photo was so large it looked like ``an extra toe on the foot.''
``Any more questions?'' he asked.
I told him I'd like to know why they were holding a worldwide corn contest and only giving a lousy tennis racket and a pair of shoes as prizes.
He said the shoes were extremely comfortable and the racket was an expensive model.
``You mean there's no expense-paid trip to New York? No motorized tennis shoe to meet the winner at the airport and whisk him or her to the Waldorf? No unveiling of the corn at a meet-the-press cocktail party?''
``No,'' he replied. He said his ``personal opinion'' was that people were ashamed of their corns and wouldn't want publicity.
``You mean you might not release the name of the contest winner?''
``Only if the winner wanted to,'' he replied.
Hoo-boy and good night, sweet Prince. I have just mailed off my winning photograph, so there's little point in anyone else trying. But if you'd like to, send a photo of your corn to: World's Biggest Corn Contest, 924 Broadway, 4th floor, New York, N.Y. 10010. ILLUSTRATION: Color drawing by Ken Wright, Staff
by CNB