THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, September 7, 1995 TAG: 9509070669
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E6 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Movie review
SOURCE: BY MAL VINCENT, MOVIE CRITIC
LENGTH: Medium: 81 lines
HEY, YOU CAN'T even trust angels!
Just when you thought it would be safe to go to heaven, along comes ``The Prophecy.''
This murky, ultra-pretentious movie sets out to rewrite the entire theology of the Judeo-Christian world as a horror flick.
According to what we see here, the angels are mightily upset about God creating human beings. Jealous to the tips of their wings, they'll flip their halos for a chance to get the earth creatures out of the way. All this, mind you, is off camera. What we get on camera is a lot of mumbo jumbo ``theology talk.''
Up until now we had always thought the Archangel Gabriel was pretty much a good guy. Not as he's portrayed by Christopher Walken (famous for being on board the yacht the night Natalie Wood was drowned as well as for being the least deserving of Oscar winners, for ``The Deerhunter''). Here, he's done up with black shoe-polish hair, white-powdered skin, lipstick and eyebrows that put the arch in archangel.
Gabriel, it seems, can't stand mankind. He refers to them as ``talking monkeys'' and sucks their souls out via a technique that looks like a French kiss.
Things open with Thomas (Elias Koteos) going berserk just as he's about to take his priestly vows. He sees a vision of the war in heaven as he runs for the cathedral door and becomes a cop instead.
Years later, we meet Simon, a good angel, (Eric Stoltz) who is also into sucking souls out of dead folks. He rips out the soul of an evil Korean army officer and hides it in a little Navajo Indian girl named, you guessed it, Mary.
Gabriel, who sometimes teaches trumpet to elementary school kids, is on the hunt. He wants that soul - bad. Eventually, he settles for quirky Amanda Plummer, who is on the critical list (in her career as well as in this script) and brings her back from the dead.
She mugs a bit but is not recognized as being different when she shows up in an Arizona diner still dressed in her hospital robe.
Lucifer, whom we always knew was one bad dude, makes a cameo appearance. He kindly explains to the poor puzzled moviegoer that Gabriel must be stopped because his heavenly revolt, if successful, will result in two hells.
This mess was dreamed up by director-writer Gregory Widen, whose expertise in the area appears to be limited to the fact that he was once an altar boy.
There is a remote chance, pretty remote, that it could become a cult flick for theology classes. I'd love to hear what Dr. Bernard Boyd, my philosophy of religion prof back at the University of North Carolina, would have said about this theory. But then, Dr. Boyd was much too smart to have paid to see this movie.
This movie is being sold to the unsuspecting as just another ``horror'' outing, even though its director, with a pretension that matches the flick itself, claims that it is a ``theological Terminator.'' Actually, it's a talkathaon. The special effects are dismal, although there is the one explosion that can be used on TV commercials.
There's also Virginia Madsen (once a Renaissance-like beauty with a promising career and John Huston's director-son for a hubby) as a school teacher. This schoolmarm wears low-cut blouses and bare midriff outfits to class, which questions just what she might be teaching.
``The Prophecy'' is sacrilegious in a way that is too feeble to really pose any threat, or interest. Gabriel's heavenly revolt is merely a lot of hot air.
Now, if only we could solve the Bosnian situation. ILLUSTRATION: Graphic
MOVIE REVIEW
``The Prophecy''
Cast: Christopher Walken, Virginia Madsen, Eric Stoltz, Amanda
Plummer, Elias Koteas
Director and Writer: Gregory Widen
MPAA rating: R (gore, sacrilege, profanity)
Mal's rating: One star
Locations: Chesapeake Square, Greenbrier 4 in Chesapeake, Janaf,
R/C Main Gate in Norfolk, Kempsriver Crossing, Lynnhaven 8,
Pembroke in Virginia Beach by CNB