THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, October 11, 1995 TAG: 9510100077
SECTION: ISLE OF WIGHT CITIZEN PAGE: 06 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover Story
SOURCE: BY LINDA MCNATT, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: ISLE OF WIGHT LENGTH: Long : 214 lines
The Well - named for the Bible passage from John 4:14, ``But the water I give them becomes a perpetual spring. . . . ''
ON A DRIZZLY OCTOBER afternoon, a solitary figure raises an umbrella, picks up a trowel and a pot of wildflowers, and strolls to the memory garden.
Once there, the young woman with a wisp of gray just beginning to show in her short, curly hair, plants foamflowers firmly in the earth for Doug.
Next spring, when small white blossoms appear, Donna Hale will be reminded of her twin brother, who died of AIDS in 1991 at the age of 31.
After the flowers were planted, Hale went walking in the autumn rain.
``It was so refreshing, very peaceful,'' she said later, laughing softly. ``You can't get away with that kind of thing everywhere.''
Being left alone to walk in the rain is just one of the unconventional things Hale enjoys about The Well, a religious retreat near the Isle of Wight/Suffolk line that has been offering peace and solitude in Western Tidewater since it opened in March 1987.
At The Well, Hale says, she is her whole self - mind, body and spirit are one.
``This place has become very meaningful for me in dealing with the grief and with all of the other issues in my life,'' says Hale, a Peninsula woman who belongs to a Presbyterian church.
And so it has to many others.
Hale first came to The Well in 1991, soon after her brother died and just after her son was born. And she says she has found a perpetual spring.
The rural, 20-acre plot nurturing spirit and peace is in a pastoral setting just off Cherry Grove Road, on the Isle of Wight County side, near the Chuckatuck section of Suffolk.
Hints that it is a special place are on the street sign, Quiet Way, on signs in the parking lot (Thou Shalt Not Park Here, Parking for Irish Only) and on bumper stickers - Walk Gently on Mother Earth.
The Well evolved from a small house of prayer in the Churchland area of Portsmouth. Sister Nancy Healy, one of the co-directors and a member of the Sisters for Christian Community, thought she heard people saying they wanted more from their spiritual lives.
``They wanted time and a place to really sit down and talk God things,'' she says.
The Well is owned by the Catholic Diocese of Richmond, but only about half the people and churches it now serves are Catholic.
The facilities include a retreat center with a prayer chapel, an assembly room, two private conference rooms, a library, kitchen and dining room. Four wooden buildings each contain four bedrooms and four baths for group retreats. And the retreat center and two additional bedrooms are equipped for handicapped people.
``I think it is a new idea to some folks,'' says Healy, a Catholic nun without habit. ``You and God run away for the weekend. You will be comfortable and well taken care of here - but not luxurious.''
With help from the facility's council of stewards and Bishop Walter F. Sullivan of the Richmond Diocese, who indirectly oversees operations, Healy and her co-director, Diane Weymouth, a former physical education teacher in the Portsmouth Public Schools, have designed four kinds of retreats:
Preached, as part of a group, with a set theme and schedule.
Directed, or guided, with Scripture readings chosen by the spiritual director and daily meetings with the director.
Personalized, tailored to personal needs with the spiritual director serving primarily as a listener.
Private, where individuals spend time alone in prayer and meditation.
``Retreat is an old thing that's maybe being revived,'' Weymouth says. ``It's in our traditions. It's very ancient. Jesus went off. Moses went off. Solitude.''
Healy and Weymouth both completed the School for Spiritual Directors at the Benedictine Monastery in Pecos, N.M. Healy, 59, holds a bachelor's degree in music education and a master's in theology and pastoral ministry. Weymouth, 43 and a Catholic laywoman, has a bachelor's in physical education and a master's in theology.
The two have been acquainted for more than 20 years, and they agree they probably complement each other.
``I'd rather do people things,'' Healy says, laughing. ``Don't bother me with computers.''
Healy is known for being deeply committed to the integration of spirituality and psychology. She pursues studies in Jungian psychology and adult faith management.
``We are in an era where things are beginning to come together - science and religion,'' Healy says. ``I think it's an interesting happening. It excites me. If I can look at what science tells me about creation, I can understand the creator better.''
Both women provide spiritual direction, but they make it clear that The Well is not a place to run away to, that the sessions they offer are not to be thought of as counseling.
``The people we work with basically talk about their life and their relationship with God,'' Weymouth says. ``We try to help them interpret what God is trying to say through certain experiences. If I think somebody needs professional psychotherapy, I wouldn't hesitate to suggest it.''
The spiritual-direction sessions are meant more to help others discern ``what is the good, holy and helpful thing to do,'' Healy says.
``We're in touch with a lot of counselors. We have a lot of references. I'm not going to do somebody's marriage therapy, but I'm going to help direct if they need therapy. At some point, the therapy is over. I could go on.''
Supporters of The Well, including volunteers who keep it running with help only from a part-time cleaning woman and a lawn service six months of the year, praise the co-directors for their open-mindedness.
Pauline Degaraff, like Donna Hale, found The Well at a time in her life when she was battling grief and overwhelming responsibilities.
``I was seeking a deeper sense of spirituality, looking for something more than church work,'' says Degaraff, who lives in Portsmouth. ``Being connected with The Well has filled my spiritual needs. It's not so much the place - it's the people who go there. There is a deeper spirituality.''
The spirit is in all things, says Stephen Colecchi, special assistant to Bishop Sullivan at the Catholic Diocese of Richmond.
``The Church has a long history of incorporating elements of other traditions with Christian traditions,'' Colecchi says. ``We believe that all will ultimately lead us to the cosmic Christ - the risen Christ. Jesus is now raised and, in his glorified state, is identified with all of creation.''
Just driving up the dirt road that leads to The Well puts Gary Knapp in closer touch with creation. It is, he says, like entering a different world, a very prayerful place. And Knapp, an elementary school teacher in Norfolk who is on the staff of the Tidewater Virginia Institute of Spiritual Direction, understands the search for spirituality that often ends at The Well.
``We are in a really exciting time to live right now,'' Knapp says. ``We're seeing an emphasis on spirituality versus religion. Religion is meant to promote spirituality, but it can often lock people in, give them a narrow view of God. Spirituality is more of a relationship with God by whatever name you call Him. There is a tremendous hunger for it.''
Religion is rules and regulations, says Jane McLaughlin, a Smithfield woman who has long supported The Well. Spirituality, she says, is simply believing in God or a higher power. It is a faith that moves mountains. The Well, she says, is ``all about looking at life from a different angle.''
McLaughlin has attended several study groups at The Well. She learned ``Care of the Soul'' by studying a book by Thomas Moore. She found support in the loosely named Wednesday Morning Women's Circle. She looked deeper into ``The Road Less Traveled.'' And she has attended retreats - religious retreats - for religious purposes.
Others have studied Tai Chi, an ancient form of Chinese body prayer and meditation. They have studied their dreams.
``Joseph did much of what he did based on his dreams,'' Weymouth says.
``We try to help determine what God is saying to you in your dreams,'' Healy adds.
This weekend, bicyclists based at The Well will tour rural roads around Chuckatuck reflecting and celebrating their physical and spiritual journeys.
In November, a retreat for women is scheduled. In late November and early December, a study group will focus on the Advent season. Dreams will be looked at in a retreat setting in late January.
In February, this is on the schedule: ``A Holistic Approach to Wellness: Venture on a journey to more deeply appreciate the energizing spirit that lies at one's deepest center, and learn the practice of meditation.''
The women's circle, which met for the first time in a new year last week, is focusing on studying Riane Eisler's book, ``The Chalice and the Blade,'' based on a theory gleaned from archeological digs that the relationship between pre-historic men and women was more of a partnership than it is today.
In the large conference room in the retreat center, the women participating in the group were gathered in a circle. Candles burned on almost every table and bookcase shelf in the room, decorated with a seashell wreath, baskets of dried flowers.
A painting on one wall depicted a black Jesus crucified on a large fruit tree, surrounded by his dark-skinned followers.
Healy, dressed in a brightly flowered short set and striking a elflike pose in a chair on one side of the circle, her bare feet tucked beneath her, invited each of the women to tell about her summer.
``In this group, we can be honest,'' she said, smiling.
When attention turned to the book they planned to study, it also turned to two carvings on a table in the center of the room. One was rounded, supple, inviting; the other straight, stern, imposing. One was female, the other male.
``Can we return to a partnership way? Can we have feminine and masculine working together cooperatively?'' Healy asked the women. ``If we women need liberation, I think men need it more.''
And as the discussion continued, Theresa Rudis agreed.
``I see it in my own two sons,'' said Rudis, a Chesapeake senior citizen who had visited her daughter's home in Oregon over the summer. ``They are torn. They want to show emotions, but if they show them in the wrong place . .
The Wednesday morning meeting concluded as the women stood in the center of the room in a circle, hands clasped together.
Some of them asked for love, prayers or remembrances to be sent to special friends or troubled family members.
In the end, Healy had the final word.
``God is within us, and we are within God,'' she said.
``Amen,'' the women said, lifting their hands together.
``Awomen,'' Healy said, as their hands dropped toward the earth. MEMO: For more information, including program prices, call The Well at
255-2366, or write: 18047 Quiet Way, Smithfield VA 23430.
ILLUSTRATION: [Cover]
"A PERPETUAL SPRING"
[Color photo]
A school bus passes the entrance of The Well, which is near
Chuckatuck.
Diane Weymouth, co-director of The Well, is a former physical
education teacher in the Portsmouth Public Schools.
Staff photos, including cover, by JOHN H. SHEALLY II
Two women on retreat at The Well meditate near the creek along the
Living Water trail.
Gail Yakimovick participates in a session conducted by Sister Nancy
Healy at The Well.
ON THE COVER: Joe Riddick reads a book on spirituality while
relaxing at The Well.
Mike Callahan practices Tai Chi, an ancient form of Chinese body
prayer and meditation, that aids concentration, purpose and
balance.
KEYWORDS: RETREAT SPIRITUAL by CNB