THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, December 21, 1995 TAG: 9512200145
SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 03 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: By SHIRLEY BRINKLEY, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: SUFFOLK LENGTH: Long : 101 lines
OVER THE YEARS, Ethel Hart has been impressed by the courtly manner of her father-in-law, Rufus T. Hart Sr.
``When he opens a door or pulls out a chair for me, he makes me feel like a queen,'' Hart said with a smile. ``My 84-year-old father-in-law is so gracious. The next generation doesn't know the social skills that his generation had.''
Hart, administrator of the East Suffolk Community Center, said Rufus Hart was her inspiration to begin ``Gentlemen In Action,'' a program to build self-esteem and teach social skills to boys, ages 8 to 13.
``I thought, `Wouldn't it be wonderful to get a group of boys together and try to teach them skills that make a lady feel like a lady?' I want our little boys to be like that.''
``Gentlemen In Action'' is the first program offered by the Youth Leadership Institute, which will feature other programs for teens in the future. Weekly meetings include a program, followed by dinner.
``We want the boys to become gentlemen and, at the same time, help them learn to be successful teens and grow up to be successful adults,'' Hart said. ``We try to encourage and improve their knowledge so they can enjoy a better quality of life.''
Last month, parents registered 13 boys.
``At first, the boys didn't really know what to expect,'' Hart said. ``Now, they are anxious to be here. Some have brought friends.
``The first week, I asked each boy to come to the front and say, `I am a good person,' '' Hart continued. ``Then I asked the other boys if they believed it. Most said `no' because of the way a boy was standing or holding his head. Most didn't realize that they gave off negative vibes to people.''
Each week, Hart plans to invite a male role model from the community to present the program. Each youngster, who is dressed in shirt and tie, is asked to introduce himself individually to their guest by extending his hand. Then Hart leaves the room.
The first guest speaker was W. Ross Boone, the academic chair at Paul D. Camp Community College. He talked to the boys about being successful, becoming educated, and setting goals, Hart said.
The following week, Hart asked her husband, Ronald Hart, who is a teacher with the Norfolk Public Schools, to speak to the boys about three things that bother them.
``They discussed talking their way out of problems and dealing with siblings and hurt feelings,'' Hart said.
After the meeting, the boys enjoy dinner together at the center. They practice setting the table for a meal and are aware of the proper fork to use for certain courses.
``They plan the menu, and I pick up the food,'' Hart said. ``Sometimes, we have pizza and ice cream. We set the table together and they must pass the food, share, and clean up afterwards.''
Eventually, Hart plans a trip with the boys to a restuarant, where they can practice their newly learned skills.
``This is the groundwork,'' she said. ``However, we need a sponsor to help us, and we need male mentors. This is the beginning of a total package. We can't do one portion. We need to do the whole package . . . teaching citizenship skills and also helping the elderly in the community.''
This could include picking up mail or papers from a mailbox and adopting a project for a nursing home at Christmastime, Hart said.
``I would love for these boys to stay with the program for a long time and develop leadership skills,'' Hart said. ``I'd like to develop a youth entrepreneurship - a business owned by the boys - and teach skills they will need. It will take time and resources, but that's the long-range plan. After a few years, money could be invested for scholarships for these boys.''
The East Suffolk Community Center opened last spring in the renovated auditorium of the old East Suffolk High School. In addition to serving as a meeting place for several clubs and organizations, the center sponsors an after-school tutorial program from Monday through Thursday as well as other programs for both adults and children.
In the future, Hart hopes to begin a program similar to ``Gentlemen in Action'' for young girls.
``The girls who come to the center have been giving me a fit,'' she said, smiling. ``One girl tells me that every Friday night, her brother gets dressed up and comes to the center. I told her we will have a special night just for girls, to teach basically the same kinds of things - how to be ladies.''
A native of Bolton, N.C., Hart, 52, met her husband at A&T State University in Greensboro. After their marriage, the couple moved to Suffolk, Ronald Hart's hometown. They have a daughter, Aprill, 29, and a son, Ryan, 18.
Hart has been a secretary with the Virginia Extension Service for the past 29 years. She is a member of the Metropolitan Baptist Church, where she was bulletin clerk for 15 years.
``I knew I had to give up that job when I forgot one Sunday to do the bulletin,'' she said, laughing. ``I realized I had enough to do, and it was time to move on.''
Hart is a member of the Pilot Club of Suffolk and the Suffolk Chapter of Las Amigas Inc. She also is serving a third term as corresponding secretary for the national organization of Las Amigas Inc. MEMO: ``Gentlemen In Action'' meets from 6 to 7:30 p.m. Fridays at the East
Suffolk Community Center, 134 S. 6th St., Suffolk. New members are
welcome. ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by MICHAEL KESTNER
Ethel Hart, Lamont Jones, left, and Chris Freeman work on the
``Gentlemen In Action'' program.
by CNB