THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, January 25, 1996 TAG: 9601250181
SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 10 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover story
SOURCE: BY SUSIE STOUGHTON, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: SUFFOLK LENGTH: Long : 176 lines
FRAN ALWOOD'S friends are never surprised when a stranger greets them at her door or answers her phone.
Over the years, she and her husband, Bob, have shared their home with countless sojourners - some seeking just a night's respite, others needing a larger dose of the legendary Alwood hospitality.
From time to time, foreign exchange students, local teens with problems, relatives, visiting artists, friends in transition or young people struggling to get on their feet have all found refuge with the Alwoods.
``It enriches your life the more people you know and get to love,'' said Alwood, 66, a retired teacher and guidance counselor.
Her life's rich tapestry is tightly woven with innumerable threads of the lives of those with whom she has shared her time - in her home, at work and in the community.
Her career accomplishments and community service earned her this year's Athena Award, given by the Suffolk division of the Hampton Roads Chamber of Commerce. The annual award, sponsored by Duke Oldsmobile, honors a woman who has distinguished herself in her profession and civic activities.
It will be presented tonight at the chamber's annual outing, at the National Guard Armory.
First and foremost, Fran Alwood is a wife and mother, though she has a host of accolades for achievements outside the home.
Her accomplishments spring from her dedication to family, which extends beyond the four children she and Bob Alwood have raised: Jack, a Presbyterian minister in Florida; David, a chemical engineer in Richmond; Sarah Williams, a mathematician and now a full-time mother in Raleigh; and Jennie, an artist in Brooklyn, N.Y.
Believing in self-determination, she gently nurtures without smothering, allowing each person to pursue the course they would chose rather than one she might pick.
``She's a mother to every child,'' said Lorraine Skeeter, a fellow School Board member who nominated Alwood for the award.
Whenever a student comes before the board, Alwood considers how to help, rather than discipline.
``She probably doesn't realize I look at that,'' Skeeter said. ``She offers her service, saying, `Maybe I can put some work together that would help.' She has a mother's touch - that love and concern.''
As a Spanish teacher and later a guidance counselor at the former Suffolk High and then Lakeland High School, Alwood refused to give up on students others felt had little promise. She would guide them toward college or career, encouraging them to believe in themselves.
She inspired more than students, said Brenda Woodard, a secretary who worked with Alwood for years. She decided in mid-life to return to college for a degree in social work, thanks to Alwood's encouragement.
``She convinced me I was smart enough to do what I wanted to do,'' Woodard said. ``I think Fran has done that for so many people.''
Alwood also listens well, she said.
``If you ask her something, she generally tells you what's in her heart,'' Woodard said.
Alwood - who grew up in Lima, Peru, the daughter of an influential businessman originally from the United States - speaks fluent Spanish, which she uses to help others. She has tutored various people from other countries, helping them learn English. She has taught adults to read, and she volunteers as a police interpreter when someone doesn't speak the language.
``This is her time,'' Skeeter said, ``time she could be cross-stitching or knitting, or whatever her hobbies are. Instead, she is out there seeing what she can do to help.''
Betty Chapman, a former neighbor and a church friend of Alwood's, recalls how Alwood offered to help her son with his Spanish, without any thought of pay.
``Her attitude was, `I want to do this because I want him to succeed in this,' '' Chapman said. ``That's what makes her such a different person.''
Alwood has been a Sunday school teacher and president of the women's organization at Suffolk Presbyterian Church. She is also an elder and a former delegate to the church's Synod, the regional governing body.
But Alwood, who has such deep faith, never went to church until she was a teenager. Soon after she and her brother were enrolled in a Catholic high school, she came home one day and asked her mother, in her typical straightforward fashion, ``I know we aren't Catholic. So what are we?''
Her parents - very caring and compassionate people though not formally religious - decided it was time for some religious training.
Alwood, who has a master's degree from Old Dominion University, is a charter member and former president of the American Association of University Women and area coordinator of the Youth For Understanding, the foreign exchange program for high school students.
She and Bob have hosted nine exchange students from faraway places including Spain, Greece, Germany, Finland and Venezuela. They keep in touch with each one at Christmas, and they treasure gifts the students have given them - each plate, pitcher or set of wine glasses recalling their happy visits.
``Everything has a story,'' Alwood said.
Books aren't the only tools she uses to build up others. Sometimes she uses a hammer and a saw, working on one of her favorite projects, Habitat for Humanity Inc. She's been the project manager in Suffolk, where three houses have been built and another one is planned for the spring.
``She's concerned about all people,'' said Skeeter, who remembers how Alwood befriended her at Kiwanis Club ladies' nights when Skeeter's husband became the club's first black member.
To accomplish much, Alwood knows it's important to discipline herself. Mornings - while the Habitat volunteers are waiting until spring to build a new house - are spent exercising and swimming at the YMCA. Afternoons are devoted to one project or another. And in the evenings, she enjoys reading if there's no activity planned.
``One thing is, she's got to have her afternoon nap,'' Bob Alwood said.
Once, she missed her nap while preparing for an evening of bridge. When it was her turn to be dummy, she leaned back in the chair and dozed.
``We very softly played the hand and dealt the next one,'' Bob Alwood said, ``then someone leaned over and tapped her shoulder.''
She awoke refreshed, thanking her friends and continuing as if she had not missed anything.
Her low-key, unassuming nature is well-known. Nothing much seems to bother her - not even a bunch of bantam roosters scampering loose in her house during a woman's club program years ago.
Appearances are not important, and her wealth is not measured by material possessions.
More often than not, the Alwoods have had ``company'' - though their house guests aren't treated as such. ``If it wasn't an exchange student, it was a relative or someone else,'' she said. ``This is a nice, big house. It would be a shame not to get some use of it.''
They didn't always have room to spare.
For years they managed in a three-bedroom ranch house in Sadler Heights, just large enough for the family until Alwood's mother could no longer live alone.
``There were two people in this room, two people in this room and two people in this room,'' Alwood explained. ``Where was Mother going to go?''
The solution, perhaps, would have frightened anyone with less faith. But Alwood repeated her oft-used phrase, ``It's going to work out just fine,'' at a bankruptcy sale where they bought the two-story brick house where they still live. Just one hitch: They had never been inside.
``We just leaped,'' said Alwood, who doesn't waste much time analyzing.
``It was a good leap,'' she said, admitting to a few sleepless nights.
There have been a few other restless nights as well. Her son, Jack, ran away from home with a friend who was mad at his father when the boys were 15. They joined a small-time circus traveling through northeastern North Carolina, leaving their families distraught for several days.
Fortunately, the show's next stop was at the outskirts of Suffolk, and a friend spotted the boys and called Alwood. Very calmly, she approached him as he was taking up tickets for pony rides and told him his parents really hoped he would come home. He wanted to stay through the weekend until the circus left town, he said, promising to come home then.
Instead of dragging him off, she let him stay. Sure enough, he showed up as promised.
Her non-threatening approach was typical of her mothering, said her other son, David.
Only recently did he learn she had majored in English and philosophy at Randolph-Macon Woman's College. ``I always thought it was psychology,'' he said. ``She used it on us so well.''
His wife, Nancy, is proud of her mother-in-law, he said. ``She feels like some of Mom's character has rubbed off on us,'' he said. ``None of us seem to get upset about anything. Whatever happens is fine. Whatever is for supper is fine.''
For the Alwoods - who have been married nearly 45 years, the relationship is a partnership, each offering support while giving the other the space they need.
``We have been very blessed,'' she said. ``How very fortunate we are, building together.''
And while she is committed to helping others, her commitment is to her family.
``If I'm involved in something here and my family needs me, I'm going to put everything on hold and go,'' she said. ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo, including cover, by JOHN H. SHEALLY II
Fran Alwood and Dan Anglim worked together on a Habitat for Humanity
house on South Mason Street in Suffolk.
The Alwoods often enjoy vacations together, such as the Christmas
they spent at Massanutten in 1992. Left to right, Bob, Sarah
Williams, Jennie, Fran, David and Jack. Sarah's son Jack turns his
back to the camera.
by CNB