THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, March 22, 1996 TAG: 9603220062
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY CHRISTIE AMBERMAN, HIGH SCHOOL CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Long : 131 lines
IT WAS LIKE a beautiful long-distance romance - you swooned over the photos they sent you, you exchanged letters, you even told them all your hopes and dreams.
Until it happened.
You were dumped. . . by a college.
Welcome to the world of high school seniors, where hard work and 12 years of education are summed up by the contents of a long, white envelope. For many, this moment means finally achieving a long-awaited dream, while for others it means disappointment.
With April fast approaching, area high school students are starting to think about the horrors of college rejection and what to do in case theirs turns out to be unrequited love.
How do you prepare for the big news? Getting the right attitude about college is something you should do from the very beginning.
Katherine Reilly, director of guidance at First Colonial High School in Virginia Beach, says that guidance counselors try to give students an accurate assessment of their chances right from the start by advising them to consider the different factors that affect admission decisions.
It may be too late for seniors, but other high school students should remember that the size of the applicant pool and the freshman class profile are very important numbers that can let you know where you stand. Knowing your own strengths and weaknesses is also important in ensuring that you apply to the right college, one you can get into.
``Rather than picking a college that's tailored for them, students often get caught up with the popularity of schools,'' Reilly said. She emphasizes that students and parents sometimes don't listen early enough about the importance of selecting a ``safety school'' (a school to which you are practically assured of acceptance), a ``target school'' (one which you have an even chance of getting into) as well as a ``reach school'' (where the odds against admission are considerably higher.)
Dana D. Burnett, vice-president for student services and dean of students at Old Dominion University, said that it's also crucial for students to determine what they need in a college. Burnett likens the college search to buying a pair of shoes; the student must realistically assess the comfort of the school and see if it has the right fit. Once a student has shopped around and experienced different college settings, it is then possible for them to take their academic record and match it to a college which meets all their needs.
OK, so you did all of this, but you still think you might be rejected. Is that possible?
``If students set their goals at a high enough level, they can expect some rejection, since not everyone can achieve the position they covet,'' ODU's Burnett said. He points out that colleges are looking for students who best fit their school. As Reilly put it, ``Their purpose is not to kill a career but to find students who will succeed at their school.''
While it's unfortunate that rejection is a possibility no matter what kind of a student you are, this doesn't mean you should lower your goals. Both Burnett and Reilly feel it's important to apply to colleges that strongly interest you just as long as you have realistic expectations.
As a guidance counselor, Reilly can't stress this enough. ``If students know their own academic profile and have done their homework, they tend to know what to expect.''
Nevertheless, it can be quite crushing to find out that wonderful, magnificent First Choice University has terminated your courtship, or even - horror of horrors - put you on hold! What's a student to do when faced with such a response?
Burnett and Reilly readily agree that if you are turned down, appealing the decision and trying to transfer in at a later date are both good options. In order to plead your case, Reilly suggests requesting an interview as well as sending new information and more current comments from teachers.
If you were wait-listed at the college of your choice, you have an even better shot of getting a second chance. According to ``The Princeton Review Student Access Guide to College Admissions,'' edited by Adam Robins and John Katzman, colleges and universities usually admit more students than they have space for since they're aware that many will probably attend other schools.
While spaces may not open up often, you can improve your chances of being noticed by emphasizing your interest. The Princeton Review suggests writing a letter to the college highlighting your enthusiasm to attend, having your guidance counselor call the admissions office on your behalf, and also sending updates of your latest awards and achievements.
Facing rejection
Of course, many students must face the finality of rejection. First Colonial's Reilly said that, at this point, it might be best to simply take the college's advice.
``Why would you want to be at the lower end of the class, always struggling?'' Reilly said. ``Students can be happy at more than one school.''
Even after doing some healing at home, students have the added pleasure of dealing with the social aspects of rejection. Back at school, it seems like all the conversations in the hallways, lunchrooms and classrooms revolve around finding out who's going where. For many students having to admit that they were rejected would be an uncomfortable situation.
Jennifer Riddle, 17, a senior at Lake Taylor High School in Norfolk says she will probably be vague about answering the questions of where she got into. ``I'd feel ashamed that I'd been rejected to the school of my choice so I'd probably lie about it or avoid the question.''
Karen Feigh, 17, a junior at Poquoson High School, has found a way to ask her friends without putting them on the spot. ``Instead of asking them what specific colleges they got into, I just ask them if they've received any letters or heard anything, and then they can pick what they want to tell me.''
Greg Schneider, 18, a senior at Indian River High School in Chesapeake, agrees that rejection is embarrassing but argues that teens shouldn't take it so hard. ``Getting rejected from college is not like when a girl rejects you. It's not a personal issue. They don't know you; they don't know what a great person you are. All they see is what's on paper.''
In the end, it's great to know that college rejection isn't the end of the world. As Greg notes, if you've done the best you can do, all that's left is to wait and see what happens.
Plenty of seniors who don't get into their preferred school usually end up liking the college they go to.
``Just because it isn't your first choice doesn't mean you won't have a good time or enjoy what you're doing,'' said Wendy Rodriguez, a 1995 graduate of First Colonial High School.
Katherine Reilly tells students to remember the reason why they wanted to go to college. She adds that if you've done a good job of selecting schools, you can get a good education at any of them.
College is only the first step, and just like with love, there are always better and brighter things waiting around the corner. After all, the specific college is not as important as what you do there. ILLUSTRATION: Color staff illustration by Sam Hundley\The Virginian-Pilot
Color photo
Christie Amberman
by CNB