THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, April 6, 1996 TAG: 9604060011
SECTION: FRONT PAGE: A8 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Letter
LENGTH: Medium: 51 lines
I have heard it all now. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has come to our shipping and fishing community to save the fish. Members will be so bold as to maneuver their boats among fishing craft. I can hardly wait to see what one of our fifth-generation watermen does about that. I can see the headlines now:
``Pieces of PETA volunteer found in crabcake sandwich on Peninsula.''
PETA also threatens to skip rocks on the water where people are fishing. My goodness, that sounds intimidation. Fishermen will have to wear racquetball goggles and motorcycle helmets, and perhaps bulletproof fishing vests along with their Basspro coveralls. If one of these little PETA people hits me with a rock, I'll call his mother. He will probably get off with a spanking or perhaps a grounding. That is what happened to me when I and my fellow juvenile hell raisers got caught throwing zucchini and tomatoes at cars.
Blockades? Say it ain't so. I suppose the PETA people will lock arms and sing ``Save the Fish'' songs. I wonder what the owners of the fishing piers will think about that? I am sure the folks who work on the piers and sell fish to earn a living for their families won't mind at all. The Coast Guard should step up its patrols around the piers because I have a feeling there will be lots of PETA people bobbing up and down around the pilings.
What will be next? Is PETA going to boycott Hollywood for producing such movies as ``A River Runs Through It?'' Is it going to ban books such as The Old Man and the Sea? How about Moby Dick? ``Pinocchio'' will have to be banned too, because there are several fishing scenes in that movie.
In PETA's world, we won't eat any meat; we can eat only vegetables. So with all the people in the world starving to death and dying from lack of protein, PETA will have us cut down the rest of the rain forests and plant carrots. However, when we pick the carrots, a bunny will feel fear and cry. The worm that lives next to the carrot will be homeless and Earth will be forever scarred by a cone-shaped hole that will take generations to repair itself in our ozone-polluted, ever-warming and treeless world.
It is fitting that your article on PETA's anti-fishing campaign was on the front page of your Saturday paper, just below a photograph of the Doo-Dah parade. The two stories have a lot in common. They both feature wacky people who provide splendid entertainment. The difference is that the parade participants are just kidding.
DAVID C. BOWEN
Norfolk, April 1, 1996 by CNB