THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, April 14, 1996 TAG: 9604100027
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K1 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: HE SAID, SHE SAID
SOURCE: KERRY DOUGHERTY & DAVE ADDIS
LENGTH: Medium: 93 lines
DAVE SAYS:
Ah, it's great to be back in civilization, Kerry, after a brief time where there are no phones, no radio, no TV - a place where if Sam Donaldson wandered by, the locals wouldn't even know that it's OK to throw rocks at him.
At least it was great to be back until I started catching up on the news: A Unabomber suspect is in jail, a bunch of heavily armed chicken-littles are holed up in a bunker in Montana, it's the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing, and a trial is upcoming for that Aum Shinrikyo guy in Japan, the one who wanted to gas all of Tokyo's strap-hangers at rush hour.
Even Bernie Goetz, the subway vigilante, is back in the papers.
I know I'm playing right into your hands with this one, but it made me wonder: Why are the big-time psychos always men?
To hear the talk shows and scan the magazine racks you'd have to believe modern women are under more pressure, at home and on the job, than men. If that's so, then why is it only the guys who ``go postal''? Even that little phrase, quickly working its way into everyday language, came from a series of male mailpersons who snapped on the job.
If we accept that both genders are capable of boiling over, you'd expect to see an occasional female equivalent of John Wayne Gacy or Charles ``Texas Tower'' Whitman.
Y'all certainly have the skills, Kerry. Any woman who can juggle a job, two school-lunch schedules and the operation of a household is capable of the same level of craftwork that the Unabomber displayed. Building a little wooden case and a pipe bomb isn't much more demanding than knitting a sweater.
But when it comes to really going off the deep end, we never see women wielding pipe bombs and poison gas contraptions, or even some basic big-caliber munitions. Why is that?
Instead, when women want to go
nuclear they simply start yapping to Oprah Winfrey or Rikki Lake.
Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I've angered enough women by writing this column that I'm downright thankful they'd rather shout than shoot. Nonetheless, the difference is puzzling.
And I've thanked the Lord more than once that you, personally, don't own a Smith and Wesson.
KERRY SAYS:
Yes, Dave, you should be very grateful that women seeking revenge are more likely to go on Oprah than to mail letter bombs.
And you should be very glad I'm unarmed.
Like most women, I'm fairly harmless when angry. Which is more than we can say for most men.
I've thought about this from time to time and I'm always reminded of an old friend of mine who once confessed that she had a wicked temper and would throw things when she was angry.
``But when I throw something breakable, like a plate, I always throw it in the sink,'' she admitted, laughing. ``Because I know I'll just have to clean up the mess later.''
Therein lies the key to this mystery, Dave. Women are less likely to do untidy things in a fit of temper because they know they'll have to pick up the pieces.
Girls are brought up to understand that there are consequences to behaving badly. It's a scientific fact that mothers do far more picking up after their sons than after their daughters. As a result, these men do not see that there are consequences to what they do.
You can bet John Wayne Gacy and Jeffrey Dahmer had mothers who cleaned up behind them, or they never would have committed such messy crimes. They would have put papers down first.
Girls are just raised to be non-violent.
Most girls never open a gaily wrapped Christmas present only to find a BB gun nestled inside. But almost all of our brothers did. In case you didn't know it, the BB gun is a gateway weapon. Nearly every mass murderer began shooting squirrels with one, then progressed to the neighborhood dogs and cats before finally taking aim at humans with a .357 magnum.
Have you ever watched a group of girls at play? Rarely are they simulating fights and wars. Instead they jump rope, play house, sit and talk. But watch a group of boys just hanging around the school bus stop and you'll find that at least one of them is waving a stick, while the others are punching each other.
This is not to say women don't become seriously deranged from time to time. And as Lorena Bobbitt proves, some women are willing to commit acts of horrible violence.
But they're aberrations, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that these ladies had higher than normal testosterone in their bloodstreams.
On the whole, women have more control over themselves. We might occasionally yell at our loved ones, slam a few doors, or even toss dishes. But when we do, we're more likely to aim for the sink. MEMO: Kerry Dougherty can be reached at 446-2306, and via e-mail at
kerryd(at)norfolk.infi.net. Dave Addis can be reached at 446-2588, and
addis(at)norfolk.infi.net. by CNB