THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, April 19, 1996 TAG: 9604190056
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JENNIFER RIDDLE, HIGH SCHOOL CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 74 lines
WRITER'S BLOCK.
I blame the whole thing on writer's block.
I look at it this way: if I had had a story idea I wouldn't have been flipping through a teen magazine hoping that an idea would jump out at me.
You see, I never submit to the sad attempts of companies to misguide teenagers, like those dumb ads that promise longer, thicker hair in four hours. I blame writer's block for my lapse in judgment. Otherwise I would have never ordered a dating guide.
Normally, I would have laughed at the advertisement that promised the big secrets of how to win the man of your dreams and how to make yourself more lovable. In my normal frame of mind, I would never have ordered a book titled ``The Get Him System.''
But before I knew it, I was mailing $15, remembering to include shipping and handling, and then waiting for the three to six weeks to pass. When ``The Get Him System'' finally arrived, I was disappointed to discover that the ``Free Guide to Kissing'' that the ad had promised was missing.
At first glance, I could tell that this book would be easy reading - 100 pages of oversize print with wide margins and big subtitles. I carried it everywhere with me (covered in a brown book cover of my own creation), reading during my study hall, taking in a few pages at the beauty parlor and sneaking in a chapter or two while I was on my break at work.
I also carried with me a highlighter, marking all the places that made me laugh hysterically. The only problem was that I ended up highlighting most of the text.
My final analysis: the book is anything but helpful. In fact, it may be books like these that are responsible for the condition of my generation. No wonder we're so messed up.
Consider the advice on kissing. It advises opening your mouth wide, exploring with your tongue and, if in doubt, ``if it feels good, do it.''
The 10 chapters offer tips about what guys like, how to detect the ``smallest signs he is interested'' and what every girl's ``fatal'' mistake is.
Perhaps one of the more important facts that the unnamed author shares with the reader is that during his research, he interviewed 25 guys. Is that what he considers in-depth?
I searched desperately through the book for the ``big secret'' to make us girls more lovable. Here it is: the secret to getting a guy to like you, no matter how popular or good looking he is, is to show warmth and interest. He will, in turn, become interested in you and grow closer in time. According to the book, ``that's all there is to it!''
Now don't get me wrong, I am sure that there is some poor helpless girl out there who didn't know this, but as far as I can tell, almost everyone knows that for someone to know that you like them, you have to show them that you like them. But what did I expect?
By the time I finished reading ``The System,'' I was agitated not only by the poor content but also because I still had not received my kissing guide.
It took me nearly an hour to track down a phone number for Johnson & Collins Research, the publisher, and by then I had a whole list of questions, starting with who wrote the book and where in the world did he do his research?
In case you were wondering, I still don't know what genius wrote the book and have no idea where he did his research. When I called, I got one of those voice message services that tell you if you have a problem to write to their customer service address or fax them. I'm not sure if they received the first fax that I sent but am convinced that they must have gotten at least one of the 10 I sent the next week.
At any rate, I did learn one thing, NEVER flip through a teen magazine if you are suffering from a bad case of writer's block. MEMO: Jennifer Riddle is a senior at Lake Taylor High School.
by CNB