THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, April 23, 1996 TAG: 9604230050
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: CHARLENE CASON, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 90 lines
Bye baby bunting, Daddy's gone 'a hunting,
To catch a little rabbit skin, to wrap his baby bunting in.
- Mother Goose nursery rhyme
TODAY'S WARRIORS aren't looking for rabbit skins, but they still go 'a hunting and leave their children to wonder when they'll be home.
Now, leaving is called ``deployment,'' and kids are being given details of the hunt.
They find out where Daddy - or Mommy - is going; reasons for the trip; some idea of his or her job; and, as far as can be determined, how long their parent will be gone.
Time means little to a 5-year-old whose dad will be deployed for six months. The child says, ``Oh, about a hundred nights,'' when asked how long Daddy will be away.
But children of active-duty military parents can get help with the concept of time, as well as any questions or fears they have, through a 15-year-old program offered by local Navy Family Service Centers. The ``Parent/Child Predeployment Program'' invites families onboard ships two to four weeks before an extended deployment.
The training includes pre-deployment seminars for couples, single sailors and children.
Earlier this month, 20 children, ages 3 to 9, and their parents visited the destroyer Laboon to learn more about its first long deployment, which is coming up soon.
Of the 355-member crew, 70 percent are married. Sixty percent are parents, and 5 percent are single parents.
The evening began with families, crew volunteers and family service counselors gathering in the ship's mess, where the executive officer, Lt. Cmdr. Dennis O'Meara, greeted everyone.
``How many of you know why we're having this meeting tonight?'' he asked the squirming children. Three or four threw up their arms.
``Well, we're having this meeting so you can find out what we do when we're gone for six months,'' O'Meara said. ``That's a long time, isn't it?
``For those of you who go to school, you'll already be in the next grade by the time we get back.''
After a few introductions and explanations, the children broke into small groups, according to age, and went with volunteers to other parts of the ship.
Parents stayed behind in the mess for their own seminar.
A half-dozen 6-year-olds to 9-year-olds met in a classroom with two family service counselors and two sailor helpers to talk about their feelings. One of the adults ventured: ``Dad's going to be gone for a long, long time. Do you think you'll be any different when he gets back?''
Six-year-old Bianca Leung said, ``Yeah, I'll be 18 by then.''
The children were asked to walk up to a large poster, with the letters LABOON written vertically on it and print a word that would describe their feelings about a parent's leaving, or about something on the ship. The kids came up with some unusual words - and they spelled them all right.
Love. Anxious. Back. Organize a homecoming. OX. Now.
Meanwhile, in the officers' wardroom, a rambunctious group of fidgety 4-year-olds and 5-year-olds were meeting with their family service counselors and sailor helpers. Well, not exactly meeting.
When they were asked what foods they thought their dads would miss while they were gone, the children said spaghetti, pizza and Chinese food. They sang songs, colored pictures and talked about their feelings. Sort of. Mostly they just laughed and played and acted like preschoolers, climbing on chairs.
Each child who attended the training session had a Polaroid picture taken for his or her dad to carry with him during the deployment. When they rejoined their parents in the enlisted mess, everyone had cookies and juice.
``Family involvement in this sort of thing is paramount,'' said Ruth Lesniak, who is married to Petty Officer 1st Class John Lesniak. ``It lets the kids know everything is fine, Daddy's coming back.
``Leaving is a big part of the dads' lives, and it's an even bigger part of the children's lives, because it's a longer time to them.''
Lt. Paul Hugill, the Laboon's operations officer, said he and his wife, Debby, have always told 5-year-old Mark and 3-year-old Beth that ``ships go away and ships come back. Now it's Daddy's turn to go.''
Executive officer O'Meara believes predeployment training sessions for crews and families ``go a long way toward preparing sailors and their families for a separation from the people they care most about for a half-year.
``Things like this minimize the messages going back and forth to the ship when we're 5,000 to 8,000 miles away, so everyone can have a little peace of mind,'' he said. ILLUSTRATION: Color photos by LAWRENCE JACKSON, The Virginian-Pilot
by CNB