THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, April 23, 1996 TAG: 9604230468
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C6 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JIM DUCIBELLA, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 89 lines
This just in from Redskin Park: Washington coach Norv Turner announced Monday that Willy Wonka has been named assistant defensive backfield coach and that Julia Child will serve as the first director of haute cuisine ever retained by an NFL team.
``I know this may sound crazy to people outside the business, but when you look at Willy's credentials, the fact that he previously directed his own chocolate factory, we thought he was essential to helping develop Leomont Evans into a Pro Bowl safety,'' Turner said. ``And Julia, well, she's forever dispensing tips on healthy eating on national television, a medium that apparently has forgotten we exist.''
That was some smorgasbord of talent the Redskins brought aboard last weekend, not that the nation got much of a look or heard a whole lot about it.
Funny how ESPN and the Deuce seemed to have commercials scheduled every time someone was walking to the microphone to announce a Redskins selection.
Even after the Redskins traded a couple of picks to Dallas for the right to draft massive left tackle Andre Johnson, the analysis was mostly from the Dallas perspective, quickly followed by the furor created by the Jets' second-round pick. If it's possible for someone 6-5, 309 pounds to disappear into thin air, Johnson achieved it Saturday.
With the exception of running back Stephen Davis, the rest of Washington's selections seem like characters out of one of those Dan Jenkins ``Semi-literate'' Texas football novels.
Leomont Evans, the choco-holic, hyperglycemic safety whose idea of a balanced diet once was six Snickers followed by six double-fudge brownies for dessert.
Someone with a more macabre sense of humor than Charley Casserly might have explained Evans' selection in the fifth round by saying, ``Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.''
Then there's sixth-round choice Kelvin Kinney. To a certain extent, the would-be defensive end from Virginia State is someone we can all identify with.
He quit exercising in January - basketball had been his passion - started eating seven meals a day and has gained 25 pounds. If he doesn't make the Redskins, his contribution to society could be the invention of a new word - something to call the meal one consumes between the time he wakes up in the morning and eats breakfast. WAMACK (Way After Midnight Snack) is the best I can come up with.
Kinney's only problem is that he needs to be more time-efficient about this. I gain 25 pounds each offseason on just three meals a day. All the great ones can. Child's presence should immensely help him become immense.
Of course, Kinney wants, and needs, to gain about 25 more, from 254 to 280. Suffice it to say that's where our life strategies differ.
The last two picks, linebacker Jeremy Asher and receiver DeAndre Maxwell, have no eating disorders. Or at least nothing that would give them much of a chance at making the team.
So, what to make of Washington's latest treasure haul. Here's what the Redskins would have said, had the electronic media given them the chance.
Believe it or not, they think they're close.
Real close.
Close to what? Respectability. No, more than that. The playoffs. A Saturday national TV date in December.
When they analyzed all the kids they've brought on board the last couple of years, all the close, agonizing losses, all the couldas and shouldas, then added a pinch of Sean Gilbert, the conclusion they forged was the chasm between them and the haves had closed immeasurably.
That's why you make the deal you do to draft Andre Johnson. Teams still rebuilding play the draft like Wheel of Fortune. Spin, take what comes up. Spin again. Teams that see themselves as being past rebuilding play Concentration. Go for the specific piece of the puzzle that reveals the final answer.
That's Johnson. The Redskins concluded that it didn't matter how much internal growth Heath Shuler, Michael Westbrook or Rich Owens did this offseason. Without a dominant left tackle to protect the QB's blind side, Washington wouldn't take the next step.
Who knows if any of it is true. What's a given is that Johnson is the only member of Washington's Class of '96 who must produce immediately.
Negotiations with this new crop of kids should be easier than in recent years. Given their dispositions, all Casserly has to do is offer these guys their choice of one incentive clause from Column A or two from Column B. By the time the egg-drop soup is served, the deal will be done. ILLUSTRATION: ASSOCIATED PRESS photo
The Redskins traded two draft picks to Dallas for the right to pick
massive left tackle Andre Johnson in the first round.
by CNB