THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, May 12, 1996 TAG: 9605100226
SECTION: CHESAPEAKE CLIPPER PAGE: 02 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Random Rambles
SOURCE: Tony Stein
LENGTH: Medium: 81 lines
Ran into the Great Bridge Grump the other day. You may know him. He's the suburban cousin of the Dismal Swamp Hermit, and they're both occasionally crankier than an ex-smoker on the third day of cold turkey.
The Grump was especially sour and talkative so I wrote it all down. He started off in a minor key, like wondering how come some grocery stores still let people write checks in the express lane. OK, it makes the check-writer happy, but everybody else in line gets mad. One happy person, five unhappy persons. If you can write checks, ditch the ``express line'' tag. Be honest. Call it ``the express or maybe slow freight line.''
Then the Grump took note that Memorial Day was approaching, which meant the official explosion of tourists. And every car in Virginia will be on Route 168 headed for North Carolina. The Grump said one of his relatives got hung up in Carolina traffic one summer Saturday and died of old age before he got past Hickory.
I believe it. Traffic in some parts of Great Bridge is already so heavy that they ought to paint out the dumb red racing stripe on the door and turn City Hall into the world's largest blue glass pay-to-park booth. And Deep Creek is headed the same way. The Grump quoted a Deep Creek lady he knows:
``The politicians gave up on Great Bridge and now they're giving up on Deep Creek. Traffic on George Washington Highway near the bridge is so bad sometimes that people have trouble getting into their neighborhoods.''
It's up to our elected politicians to fix the problem, the Grump noted, since it was politicians who mis-managed growth to begin with. And since we have just voted for City Council and School Board members, the Grump got really wound up.
``I tell you,'' he said, ``do not, repeat, do not vote for the one who swears never to raise taxes. Anyone who does that is either lying or ignorant or too interested in brown-nosing voters to run a city right. Listen for the candidate who says, ``I will do my very best to see that your tax dollars are spent as wisely as possible, but there is a bottom line to city services.
``Someday I might have to support a tax increase, whether or not it makes us all unhappy. Doing what's popular isn't always doing what's right.''
Boy, the Grump was really rolling now.
``While we're talking about politics, TV is one of the worse things that ever happened to the election process. It puts a premium on slick. It glorifies the clever phrase and the eye-catching image. Until TV can see inside a head, it ought to stick to selling soap, cars and headache pills, not candidates.
``Political ads on TV are usually 30 seconds worth of twisting the truth around so its own momma wouldn't know it. Granted, truth is usually one of the first casualties in a political campaign but you hate to see it zapped right in your own living room every hour on the hour.''
That wasn't the only shot the Grump took at TV. ``It doesn't belong in the courtroom,'' he said. ``Trials are for justice, not entertainment. At least, that's the theory. Witnesses are nervous enough without having to think, `OhmyGawd, I'm on TV.'
``Anyone who believes the Simpson case lawyers weren't playing to the cameras would bet against the sun coming up tomorrow.
``And that reminds me: Cochran and company convinced the jury that the cops framed Simpson. So let's just say those cops were charged with a frame-up and put on trial. If they hired Cochran or any other lawyer smart enough to unlock his brief case, the case would be laughed out of court for lack of evidence. As Cochran might say, ``If there isn't proof, the case is a goof.''
The Grump didn't know exactly how to fix the legal system so it would work better than it does. Big money will always buy smarter lawyers and jurors are human beings who can sometimes be convinced that what you see ain't what you got. One thing, though. The Grump liked the notion of changing it so not all 12 jurors would have to be convinced. If a 11 to 1 or 10 to 2 vote would convict, there might be more justice and less smoke and mirrors.
By now, my pencil was worn to a nub and the Grump was running down, but he wasn't quite through. He told me something else about that Deep Creek lady who complained about the traffic. She said she always voted. ``I want to be able to complain,'' she said. ``If you don't vote, you can't complain.''
She's right. Voting isn't just your civic duty. It also gives you grumping rights if the one you voted for turns out to be a worst choice than saying ``I do'' to Henry VIII. by CNB