THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, May 13, 1996 TAG: 9605130130
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Bob Molinaro
LENGTH: Medium: 69 lines
Rumors that Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin may be moving to Miami beg the question:
Trade or extradition?
This is a great time to be a Cowboys detractor, don't you think?
Laughter at the expense of Irvin and Dallas is an antidote to the insufferability that has characterized the Cowboys in the Jerry Jones Era.
First, Irvin is busted in a motel room, which he is sharing with two suspected prostitutes and a party pack of drugs.
Irvin is indicted on cocaine and marijuana charges, but when it's time for his first court appearance, he arrives 20 minutes late.
It's what we expect, isn't it, from the cockiest player on the world's most arrogant team?
Is Irvin the least bit remorseful? You must be kidding. Being a Cowboy means never having to say you're sorry.
After Irvin's arrest, Jones said just what you'd expect. The self-important owner predicted that his star receiver would not miss any action - not so much as a minicamp - because of the incident.
Smugness characterizes this franchise, but Jones may have been right in assuming the drug charges would amount to next to nothing in a town where winners are forgiven anything.
But, then, along comes Dennis Pedini, a 31-year-old parasite who did favors for Irvin and his teammates, and gained their confidence.
When Pedini feels he is being mistreated by the players, especially Irvin - ``I'm there for him, but he wasn't there for me.'' - he gets Irvin to tell him about some of his drug dealings. He secretly tapes the conversations, and sells them to a Fort Worth TV station.
The humor of this scenario can be fully appreciated only by football fans who have had their fill of the Cowboys' act.
Isn't immunity from stupidity, defeat and the normal codes of conduct the birthright of every Cowboy? Aren't these the perks granted America's Team?
With Irvin caught on tape, the traditional and tiresome pretensions of the Cowboys are even more ripe for ridicule.
Over the years, even before Jimmy Johnson's stint as the main man, Dallas' football franchise seemed vain and insolent. Feelings of dislike toward the Cowboys were moderated somewhat when the team was quarterbacked by an officer and a gentleman (Roger Staubach) or coached by a pious robot (Tom Landry).
But today, the Cowboys are identified with Jones, a man so full of himself as to suggest in the wake of Irvin's arrest that each NFL team be trusted to operate its own drug-testing plan (While you're at it, why not put the fox in charge of the chickens?).
The team is coached by a former college scoundrel, Barry Switzer, who was fired from the University of Oklahoma after some of his players let off steam with Uzis.
And drug problems are nothing new to these Cowboys. Last season, Leon Lett was suspended for four games by the NFL after testing positive for marijuana, while Clayton Holmes was banned for the season after testing positive for cocaine.
Two seasons ago, a drunk Erik Williams seriously injured himself in a one-car crash. And now we read that some Cowboys frequented a place called the ``White House,'' where married players got together with groupies for drug parties.
We probably haven't seen the end of Cowboys vanity, live or on tape.
All the more reason for detractors to say: If you can't beat 'em, ridicule 'em. by CNB