THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, May 27, 1996 TAG: 9605250058
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY LARRY BONKO, TELEVISION CRITIC
LENGTH: 160 lines
The May sweeps have come and gone, bringing with them the end of the 1995-96 network primetime season.
Hello, re-runs.
We saw the goofus trio on ``Melrose Place'' - Amanda, Peter and Michael - rescued from triple lobotomies planned by Kimberly when she was her evil alter ego, Betsy.
We saw Carter on ``ER'' graduate from intern to doctor, but he missed getting his diploma because he was sitting with a sick kid. We saw Dan on ``Roseanne'' survive a coronary.
There was much more.
Summing up, here are 50 examples of the best, worst, least and most of the past season.
1. BEST PERFORMANCE BY A MALE IN A DRAMA SERIES - Dennis Franz as Detective Andy Sipowicz may have secured a second Emmy for doing the lost-weekend
thing in the next-to-the-last episode of the season. Andy falls off the wagon. Hard.
2. Worst made-for-TV movie: ``Encino Woman.'' Lucy of the Stone Age, thawed out from a glacier with the help of an earthquake, awakens in 1996 Los Angeles. The prehistoric Valley Girl. What could be worse? A visit from Pauly Shore of ``Encino Man.''
3. Best miniseries: ``Gulliver's Travels'' on NBC. Neat special effects. Lots of big names in small parts. Ted Danson was bigger than life in this role and earned his $2 million salary.
4. Second-best miniseries: ABC'S ``The Beatles Anthology.'' The newly discovered Beatles song is lousy but there was much to rejoice about in the six hours.
5. Best performance by a female in a drama series: Helen Mirren as Detective Superintendent Jane Tennison in the tough-as-nails ``Prime Suspect'' series. She's suspended. She fights back. She collars a serial killer. She's reinstated. She's marvelous.
6. Least-known fact about a hit prime-time series: On ``Seinfeld,'' the cereal boxes in Jerry's apartment are arranged alphabetically.
7. Best awards show: ``The MTV Movie Awards,'' where you're way overdressed if you show up in a tux. A cool spoof of TV awards' shows. ``And the winner for best screen kiss is . . . ''
8. Least convincing Miss Universe contestant - Miss Venezuela told CBS viewers and a worldwide TV audience that she'd rather be smart than rich and beautiful.
9. Worst news for people who like quirky, offbeat drama: Fox abruptly dropped ``Profit'' after only four airings, thereby depriving viewers of a wonderfully spooky performance by Adrian Pasdar in the lead role.
10. Most overrated new series: ``3rd Rock from the Sun'' on NBC. Too many one-liners about body parts and body functions.
11. Best imitation of Mike Wallace of ``60 Minutes'' by a local reporter: Andy Fox of WAVY chased after tow-truck operators in Virginia Beach to ask why they're ripping off tourists and locals with charges as high as $105 in a segment called ``Ticked Off and Towed.'' Look at Andy move!
12. Worst way to end a relationship: Poison your fiancee with toxic glue on the wedding invitations. George did it accidentally on ``Seinfeld.'' And he was happy about it. Frankly, I was glad to see Susan go, too.
13. Most surprised executives: The suits at CBS. They never expected ``Walker, Texas Ranger'' and ``Touched by an Angel'' to be hits, but both Saturday night shows are in the Top 20.
14. Best way to put the life back in ``Saturday Night Live'': Ask the funniest man alive, Jim Carrey, to be the guest host.
15. Least-missed star who left a series while it was still hot: Tie between Luke Perry, formerly of ``Beverly Hills 90210'' and Mandy Patinkin of ``Chicago Hope.'' The shows are better without them.
16. Most dramatic exit of a supporting player: On ``Melrose Place,'' Mob prince Bobby went sailing out an office window about 12 stories up after making a lunge for the scheming lawyer played by Anne-Marie Johnson, whose character made a pretty dramatic exit, too. Head-on collision.
17. Star most likely to believe in miracles: Jeff Foxworthy. The stand-up comic's series was dropped by ABC and then picked up by NBC, the No. 1 network. You know you're one lucky redneck when that happens.
18. Most obvious ratings stunt: Liz Taylor shows up on four CBS sitcoms in cameos during the February sweeps to promote her new perfume. She bombs.
19. Best cliffhanger: On ``Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman,'' Superman leaves fiancee Lois Lane on Earth while he helps get a new planet Krypton up and running. Will he return? Is he faster than a speeding bullet?
20. Best interviewer: Charlie Rose of PBS. It's just Rose, his guest, a round table and you. He asks tough questions. He listens. Then asks another tough question.
21. Worst episode of ``Friends'': When Marlo Thomas and Ron Liebman did a guest turn as Rachel's parents. I hate it when outsiders intrude on this ensemble cast just to juice up the ratings.
22. Worst commercial: Rally's ``it's the taste, not the size'' pitch for its Big Buford. The sexual innuendo is thicker than the catsup.
23. Best farewell to WVEC anchorman Jim Kincaid, who retired last week: Sam Donaldson of ABC's ``PrimeTime Live'' said goodbye to Jim by reminding him that during the 1976 election campaign, Sam did the hard digging while Kincaid played his guitar on the press bus.
24. Least visible TV news person: Connie Chung.
25. Worst timing: Fox played off all the new episodes of the excellent ``Party of Five'' drama before the May sweeps arrived.
26. Best job of negotiating with the network: Conan O'Brien signed a new contract with NBC that gives him Monday night off. Johnny Carson had the same deal.
27. Best daytime talk show host: Leeza Gibbons on NBC. She's no Charlie Rose when it comes to interviewing, but Gibbons is easy to take and doesn't dip into the daytime sleaze pit.
28. Worst impression of Wonder Woman: Xena, the Warrior Princess.
29. Best young talent: Brandy Norwood, who stars in ``Moesha'' on UPN. She'll be a zillionaire by the time she's 20.
30. Best impression of Sonny Crockett of ``Miami Vice'': Don Johnson as Nash Bridges. Same guy. Same role. Add some gray hair and a paunch.
31. Least-talked-about character on prime time: Murphy Brown's baby.
32. Most overworked people in prime time: Figure skaters. It's been triple axels all over the tube.
33. Least-likable leading man in a drama: Daniel Benzali of ``Murder One.'' The show is coming back to ABC but without ol' stone face.
34. Best new show for kids: ``Wishbone'' on PBS. A dog involves young folks in classic literature.
35. Most recognizable hairdo: The Rachel worn by Jennifer Aniston on ``Friends.'' Even your grandmother is asking for it.
36. Worst moment for people who appreciate clever satire: Garry Shandling announces that he won't do ``The Larry Sanders Show Starring Garry Shandling'' on HBO this year. He'll be back in 1997. Hey, now.
37. Best opening for any show in prime time: ``Friends.'' It starts with that song by the Rembrandts about people who will be there for you when you need them.
38. Show most watched by the hip: ``Vega$'' in reruns on fX.
39. Most resilient drama in prime time: ``Law & Order.'' All the original cast members except one (Steven Hill) are gone. But the show is still great, although Chris Noth is missed. Jill Hennessy is the latest to leave.
40. Worst slide: ``Star Trek: Voyager.'' It started out fine but got lost among the cosmos after the fifth or sixth show. In the beginning, I was involved. Now I don't care if the Voyager's crew ever gets back home.
41. Best dresser: Fran Drescher in ``The Nanny.''
42. Worst dresser: Laura Leighton as Sydney on ``Melrose Place.''
43. Best indication that the producers of ``Dateline'' are running out of ideas: They did a big thing about naming babies the other night. Even local stations don't get that desperate. NBC cut back ``Dateline'' from four to three hours a week. Good.
44. Best working-class heroine: It's still Roseanne on ``Roseanne.'' Peg Bundy of ``Married With Children'' comes in second. The ``Grace Under Fire'' sitcom is too preachy to be trailer-park true.
45. Best try at reviving the 1960 miniskirt: Heather Locklear on ``Melrose Place'' and Leah Thompson on ``Caroline in the City.''
46. Worst name for a series: ``Too Something.'' The Fox sitcom was canceled before anyone could learn what it means.
47. Best moment for Andy Rooney of ``60 Minutes'': When he lit out after a wire-service reporter who suggested that seventysomething Rooney is too old for TV.
48. Best interview: It's a tie between Princess Di's tell-all on the BBC and Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson's chat with Diane Sawyer on ABC. I didn't believe a word these two uttered about their sex life. But I watched it anyway.
49. Star least likely to complain about losing her series: Bonnie Hunt. CBS gave the actress not one but two chances to make it in prime time. She didn't.
50. Best thing to happen to Jay Leno: Not long after he was busted for hustling a hooker, actor Hugh Grant appeared on ``The Tonight Show,'' pulled Leno's ratings up, and Leno's been beating David Letterman ever since.
All of this happened in the TV season that just ended. And in one more TV moment to remember, Frank Sinatra on ``Sinatra: 80 Years My Way'' probably sang in public for the last time. ILLUSTRATION: Color photos by CNB