THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, May 31, 1996 TAG: 9605290204
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 07 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Over Easy
SOURCE: Jo-Ann Clegg
LENGTH: 82 lines
There was a time, about 20 years ago, when my wallet was full of credit cards.
``You've got to stop carrying so much plastic around with you,'' Bill told me. ``What if your wallet is stolen?''
Two weeks later it was.
We phoned 12 different retail stores, three banks, and five oil companies. I also made visits to the public library, the Department of Motor Vehicles, the Social Security office and the place at the base where they take your picture and paste it on a military ID card.
Before my wallet was stolen it had weighed in at slightly more than a family size meat loaf.
Between the weight and the inconvenience I decided it was time to cut back. For a while I carried nothing but a single credit card, my driver's license and my military ID.
Gradually, but inevitably, my wallet began putting on weight.
Ten years after the first theft it was stolen again.
This time the 12 retail stores had merged into 4, the three banks had become one. Two of the five oil companies had folded their pumps and stolen out of town. Goodbye Dino the Dinosaur. Goodbye Flying Red Horse.
I had, however, added cards which allowed me to make telephone calls, rent videos, have my car towed, prove that I worked for the City of Virginia Beach, shop at a store that carried nothing smaller than 20-pound boxes of laundry detergent, and get me service in the office of any doctor who agreed to abide by the rules, regulations and rates of the area's first HMO.
My wallet still weighed the same as the family pack of ground round with catsup, Worcestershire and bread crumbs added.
Again we made the phone calls and the visits.
Again I replaced my credit cards but vowed that I would carry only one at a time and never let my wallet out of my sight.
Ten years later I still carry only one credit card but my wallet weighs more than ever.
Why? Because there are certain things I just can't live without. Like videos, library books, dental and health care, $5 prescriptions, access to military bases, proof that I work for a newspaper, a permit to drive on all streets and highways, free towing from any and all of the above and the privilege of buying detergent in 20-pound boxes and pancake mix in 10-pound canisters.
I also cannot live without the thousands of special discounts that I'm entitled to because of age, patronage or the fact that I live, breathe and purchase.
For want of something better to do, I checked my wallet during the third day of last week's rainy weekend.
My current crop of special cards includes:
One that gets me a free bagel sandwich for every eight I buy
One that gets me a free car wash with every seven that I pay for
One that gets me a new pair of shoe heels for every five that I have replaced
One that sends me packs of notepaper, a quarterly newsletter and a one percent rebate on all of my greeting card and gift wrap purchases
One that get me discounts at hundreds of hotels because I pay $7.50 a year for the privilege of having been born more than half a century ago
Three that get me discounts at certain department stores because I've lived long enough to be ``seasoned'' (their word, not mine)
One that gets me a 10 percent discount at a book store because I know how to read
One that gives me a free airline trip after I log a half million miles with a carrier which is probably either going to go out of business or merging with three others before I hit the quarter million mile mark
One that welcomes me back into the fold of my neighborhood weight loss center regardless of how badly my diet has lapsed
One that gives me a five percent discount on any trip to the grocery store during which I spend more than $100
One that lets me cash checks and get special savings on selected items at the grocery store closest to my home
And one that lets me cash checks and get special savings on a different set of selected items at the grocery store across the street from the one that is closest to my home
My credit cards may be down to two but the weight of my wallet remains the same.
I know because I made a meat loaf the other night. Just for the heck of it, I put them both on the scale. Each weighed in at slightly over a pound and a half, just as I figured they would. by CNB