The Virginian-Pilot
                             THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Friday, May 31, 1996                  TAG: 9605310003
SECTION: FRONT                   PAGE: A14  EDITION: FINAL 
TYPE: Editorial 
                                            LENGTH:   42 lines

MUTANT WORMS SURVIVE FAR LONGER THAN NORMAL REALLY BORING LIVES

A scientist has bred mutant worms that live five times as long as their normal counterparts, according to a New York Times story last week, but there's a catch.

The worms are unhappy.

We had never thought of worms in terms of happiness or unhappiness. We had always thought of them in terms of big or little, alive or dead.

But Dr. Siegfried Hekimi, a McGill University biologist who bred the worms, told The Times, ``They are very lethargic. They're terrible. They just lie there. They are not happy.'' The males do not appear to have enough energy to mate. Fortunately, the females can impregnate themselves.

The worms are long-lived and sluggish for the same reason: a set of four genes called ``clock genes.'' Those genes slow down most of what worms do: eating, defecating, embryo development, swimming, cell division and - drum roll - aging.

The worms live long because they live slow. They are like 78 rpm records played at 16 rpm.

If the worms sped up, their lives would shorten. What parents say is right: Fast living will kill you.

In the famous World War II novel Catch-22, a character seeks out boring people in order to slow time and live longer. The character might be on the right track.

The only way scientists have found to extend the lives of rodents is to restrict their calories. If rats in one group eat freely and rats in another group consume 30 percent fewer calories, the rats in the second group will live half again longer than the big eaters.

But the question arises, Are the rats whose diets are severely restricted happy? Is life without chocolate worth living?

The mutant worms' fivefold increase in longevity is the greatest ever for any species. With a fivefold increase in human life expectancy, people would live to be more than 350 years old, though surely no one would want to be unhappy for 3 1/2 centuries.

Perhaps this editorial has extended your life. by CNB