THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, June 2, 1996 TAG: 9605310170
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 07 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: On the Street
SOURCE: Bill Reed
LENGTH: 62 lines
The Yellow-Bellied Why Bird is indigenous to the southeastern coast of Virginia and can be seen hopping over sand dunes and reclining sunbathers anytime of year, shrieking ``Why? Why? Why?'' at the top of its lungs.
This inquisitive little fellow makes it his mission in life to delve into the mysteries of human behavior, especially that related to politicians and their ilk.
It is not unheard of to spot a Why Bird nestled at the rear of a City Council chamber or School Board room or even in the gallery of the General Assembly, eyeing the honorables as they ponder weighty issues such as:
Whether or not to allow Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs to domicile in residential neighborhoods, although the city code adamantly declares that the portly porkers must be kept only in agricultural areas.
Pigs is pigs, city bureaucrats insist, and therefore must join their brethren in rural areas, rooting for grubs, apple cores, slop and other porcine delicacies offered in rustic pig parlors.
Nevermind that pot-bellied pigs behave like perfect ladies and gentlemen and are quiet, clean, housebroken, reverent, helpful and respectful of their elders.
While the Why Bird ponders ``Why?'' bureaucrats answer: ``Why not? Rules are rules.''
Whether or not to take legal action against a new Oceanfront Brew Thru convenience store because it offers customers the opportunity to buy (gasp!) beer and wine and take it off premises to drink - like 150 other beachfront outlets have done for decades.
The council has gone on record as vigorously opposing the Brew Thru store, because it encourages people to drink and drive and the Why Bird can only cock his feathery head and ask ``Why?'' is this outlet getting any more attention than the 150 other Oceanfront stores that offer takeout beer and wine sales?
Whether or not to reconsider an earlier decision to stop a convenient curbside recycling program that thousands of Virginia Beach residents have become accustomed to for several years, even after the Southeastern Public Service Authority - the responsible agency - promised to cut its proposed fee from $1 to 50 cents per household.
Bureaucrats say that even with the reduced charge, the program still is too expensive. Besides, they argue, city residents would be just as well served by bagging their recyclable materials - cans, bottles, magazines and newspapers - and dragging them to the nearest bin only three miles from their doorsteps.
Why do this, asks the Why Bird, when many residents and their impressionable and environmentally conscious children are more than willing to shell out the extra $1 or 50 cents per month or whatever to have the stuff picked up at curbside?
Ah, say the bureaucrats, we can do it cheaper and soon we, too, will institute a curbside recycling program that'll be more efficient than SPSA and will enable householders to get rid of a greater variety of materials than is now allowed.
Well, replies the Why Bird, why does the city claim to run a more cost-effective, more efficient and more inclusive refuse pickup program than SPSA, yet all our neighboring cities have agreed to the SPSA fee increase and continued service?
And why, asks the Why Bird, did the city discontinue its daily resort commercial trash collection service last winter if that service is so all-fired efficient, cost effective and all-inclusive? Huh? Why? by CNB