THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, June 28, 1996 TAG: 9606280044
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E2 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JENNIFER DZIURA, TEENOLOGY COLUMNIST
LENGTH: 61 lines
``YOU KNOW, I really don't find that very interesting.''
Just try saying that while the guy next door - the one you haven't been friends with since the fourth grade - keeps trying to tell you about the operation he had to remove a precancerous lesion from some remote area of his body. He might stop talking, but he'll probably find your remark a bit rude.
But don't fret - that could change. The vehicle for this change is interactive technology.
Perhaps you are one of the few who, upon hearing the words ``interactive technology,'' thinks of Bob Saget. I know I do.
I have fond childhood memories of the final segments of ``America's Funniest Home Videos,'' wherein the studio audience removed hand-held dials from the chair backs in front of them and voted for the winning clips, which generally seemed to involve someone's dog falling off the television.
A professor at the University of Virginia, however, has come up with an even better use for the interactive hand-held gizmo. According to a report in The Virginian-Pilot by campus correspondent Adam Bernstein, Professor Michael Kubovy wants to distribute just such a gizmo to his Psych 101 students, who would then be able to respond, in real time, to what was going on in class.
Just think of where this could lead. Say you're in astronomy class, having a perfectly good discussion about black holes, when all of the sudden the lecturer starts reminiscing about the time he ate crumpets with Isaac Asimov. Having heard the story about as many times as there are planetary satellites around Jupiter (16), a few students electronically indicate their unfavorable responses, thus saying, ``You know, I really don't find that very interesting at all,'' but doing so under a cloak of anonymity.
And say you get through astronomy class OK and you manage to graduate. You're at commencement and the speaker, who has come to wish you a satisfactory life, turns out to be Clarence Thomas. Or Judge Ito. Or Bob Saget. So you let the speaker get through his introduction, you turn your dial up to ``maximum dissatisfaction,'' and the speaker is compelled to fast-forward to the part where he wishes you the best and goes home.
Now let's say you've graduated and you're getting married. The best man - the same next-door neighbor with the precancerous lesion - stands up to make a toast. He introduces himself, makes a suggestive remark about the bride and proceeds to tell a long, exceedingly boring joke. He prefaces the joke by saying, ``Now, stop me if you've heard this one.''
But does anyone ever stop a guy who says ``Stop me if you've heard this one?'' No, because: 1) the listener has no idea whether the other listeners have heard the joke, and 2) no one wants to be the jerk who yells, ``You told this one at my wedding eight years ago!''
But if the wedding party had interactive hand-held gizmos, everyone who had heard the joke could quietly and anonymously indicate that he didn't wish to hear it again, and the best man would be that much closer to raising his glass.
Interactive technology could someday serve as a fast-forward button on unnecessary speech. In the future, you could say ``You know, I really don't find that very interesting at all'' with just a touch from your bored little digits. MEMO: Jennifer Dziura is a 1996 graduate of Cox High School. ILLUSTRATION: Photo
Jennifer Dziura by CNB