THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, August 9, 1996 TAG: 9608090702
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MICHELLE MIZAL, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: 101 lines
THE TEEN-AGE TONGUE is enough to get a parent TWEAKED.
Translation: Teen-age slang can space a parent out. So here's some words that could really save some TAMALE TIME (embarrassment) for both college freshman and parents.
It's the first day of school and you have to MOTIVATE TO THE GATE (leave) cause your ROCKS FOR JOCKS class (Introduction to Geology class) starts in 30-minutes. So you're driving the DADDYLAC (the expensive car/ Porsche that Dad gave you) when you spot one of your old classmates jogging to school because he BIFFED (crashed) his mountain bike.
You stop to give him a lift only because he's a real CLYDESDALE (a good-looking guy). Last year you wouldn't be caught dead with him because he was a total CHUBORIAN (a fat person).
``S'UP (short for `What's up') ?'' he asks as he gets into the daddylac.
``Nothing much.''
``You're outfit is THE BOMB (looks really good) today.''
``Thanks. You're pretty G.Q. (wearing nice clothes. G.Q. is short for Gentleman's Quarterly) yourself.''
After a quick stop at ``SEV'S'' (short for 7-Eleven) for a Slurpee, you realize that you're running late so you BOOK IT (hurry) to class. But on the way you get pulled over by the WIGGY MAN (policeman) so you start to WIG OUT (get upset).
``GEL (relax),'' Mr. Clydesdale says.
``I can't CHILL (another word for relax). I'm BUSTED (in trouble),'' you say as the Wiggy man gets out of his car and approaches the daddylac.
``I just had a totally RANDOM (a college term used for just about anything. A random car, a random idea etc.. . . ) thought,'' he said
``What?''
``LET'S B OUT (leave) before the Wiggy man gets to your window.''
It was then that you realized that the Clydesdale is a GIMP (not someone you'd want to start a relationship with) and has major ISSUES (problems or mental problems) - NO DIGGIDY (no doubt). Doesn't he know that you can just get the LOOT (cash) for the ticket from your dad?
You decide not to SHUN IT (go with it) and accept the ticket.
You finally arrive at school. Late.
``Can I get the DIGITS (phone number)?'' he asks.
``NOT (no),'' you say.
He proves to be even more of a gimp as he leans over to SCOOP (kiss) you but instead he YAWNS IN TECHNICOLOR (throws up) all over your brand new CREEPERS (thick-soled black shoes). You are so AGRO (short for the word `aggressive') that he tried to HOOK-UP (a term which can be used to suggest anything from kiss to sex) with you. So after FIRING ON (punching) him a couple times in the face and kicking him out of the car, you drive back to your apartment to clean up yourself and the daddylac - only to find yourself in SEXILE (exiled from the room because your roommate is with her boyfriend).
Great. Not only are you gonna miss Rocks for Jocks, you can forget being punctual for your MOONS FOR GOONS (astrology course) class. It's a good thing that both classes are pretty CAKE (really easy courses). You'll be able to catch up.
So it's back in the daddylac to the nearest HORN (telephone) to phone your apartment and tell your roommate to open the door - knowing that it's gonna be A REAL SLICE (a bad day).
ILLUSTRATION: Graphic
BEEPER BEEPS
OK. So not only do 20th century teens have their own dialect, but
their beepers do too. Don't freak. It's not a 911 situation. Here's
the 411 on the digits to comprehend the communication.
143 - I love you.
411 - Need information or want to give information.
911 - Emergency call now.
07734 - Turn the pager upside down and it reads ``hello.''
617173 - Good (6) nite (17173)
* - a space.
THE PAGER ALPHABET:
8 - A
8 - B
6 - C
0 - D
3 - E
94 - F (because of the ``ph'' sound)
6 - G
4 - H
1 - I
7 - J
15 - K
1 - L
177 - M
17 - N
0 - O
9 - P
9 - Q
12 - R
5 - S
7 - T
11 - U
11 - V
111 - W
25 - X
4 - Y
2 - Z
Note: Some people have an identification code. Some use their
name using the beeper alphabet; others use their birth date or
little numeric idioms like ``007.'' by CNB