THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, August 29, 1996 TAG: 9608270497
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: V8 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Pro Forecast
SOURCE: Jim Ducibella
LENGTH: 109 lines
If you're really an NFL fan . . .
You'll be interested to know that Green Bay, San Diego, Detroit, Chicago and Seattle play the league's five toughest schedules this season. Super Bowl champion Dallas? How about 20th, just eight games against teams that won more than they lost in 1995.
You're not surprised the 49ers hold the league's all-time record for most consecutive games scored in. What you might have missed is that San Francisco hasn't been shutout since Oct. 16, 1977, or 290 games. Or that point-poor New Orleans is the only other team with an active streak of more than 156 games.
It should make you want to puke every time the Baltimore Ravens are called ``the NFL's newest franchise,'' as if their existence was the result of some noble expansion plan.
You can't wait for the day they make a superstar's contract an ordinary Joe can understand.
You wonder how long it will be before another Tampa Bay Buccaneer joins Lee Roy Selmon in the Hall of Fame.
You respect the Bills for the fact that they are the only team in the 1990s with a winning percentage of .700 in games decided by 10 points or less.
You still can't get over the fact that quarterback Stan Gelbaugh has never won a single game in which he's started. Oh-for-11, he is.
You shake your head when you think of all the publicity Boomer Esiason gets for a guy with a career mark of 73-87.
You hope there comes a time when the NFC East is realigned to include Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia, the Giants and Dallas (you need the traditional rivalry the Cowboys provide) and is renamed the Amtrak division. As it is, Baltimore traveled to New York by train for its game with the Giants on Aug. 10.
You're amazed that, counting preseason, the Carolina Panthers travel only 9,745 miles this season. Pittsburgh went farther than that to play one preseason game in Tokyo (13,234 miles).
You're going to wonder at some point why the Oakland Raiders didn't make a bigger push for QB Jeff George.
And why the 49ers didn't make any push for Redskins running back Reggie Brooks. They could have had him with a little effort.
You listen to some of the ex-jock analysts on TV and know why young people who study broadcast journalism in college are outraged at their inability to find work.
You wonder how much credence the ``games played'' statistic carries. Eight of the top-10 players in that category are kickers or punters. Only Clay Matthews and Ray Donaldson don't compete with their feet.
You recognize Norfolk's Bruce Smith as one of the league's last remaining fossils. Smith has 12 years in the NFL, all with Buffalo, one of just 18 players with 12 or more seasons in one town.
You also recognize the NFL's statement that ``Free agency has increased movement of NFL players, but the majority stay with one team'' as the shameless, bold-face kind of lie the league regularly thinks you're gullible enough to believe.
You probably don't care that Midnight Green has replaced Kelly Green as the primary color of the Philadelphia Eagles, but you wish they'd have left the wings on the helmet alone.
You find it hard to believe that the oldest record in Packers history is Buckets Goldenberg's five touchdowns as a rookie, set in 1933.
You may already know that Terry Allen's web site address is www.profan.com/sports/foot-ball/redskins/ptallen.htm.
And that it's a whole lot easier to talk to Junior Seau at www.juniorseau.org.
You've heard by now that the five greatest moments since the AFL-NFL merger are, as selected by the league: Green Bay beating Dallas in the Ice Bowl, the ``Heidi'' game between the Jets and Raiders, Joe Namath's guarantee that the Jets would win Super Bowl III, Saints kicker Tom Dempsey's 63-yard field goal against Detroit, and Miami's victory over Kansas City in pro football's longest game ever, Christmas Day, 1971.
You're also wondering, perhaps, how the Immaculate Reception, Miami's 17-0 season,Dwight Clark's catch to beat Dallas, John Elway's drive against Cleveland and Joe Montana's drive against Cincinnati didn't make it.
You wonder what it says about pass-defense rules these days that five of the top six passers of all time are still active. Only Joe Montana, who is second to Steve Young (how that must hurt) has left the game. You don't find that in rushing, receiving, even scoring.
You could probably figure out that the last quarterback to throw seven touchdown passes in one game is the guy you'd least expect to have done it, Minnesota's Joe Kapp.
You're snickering at the fact that the Bears need nine wins to become the first NFL franchise to record 600. You also probably think it'll be a nice way for Bears fans to celebrate the opening of the 1997 season.
You think it's idiotic that the oldest record in Arizona Cardinals history - Ernie Nevers' 40 points and six touchdowns in one game - was set in 1929, when the Cardinals were in Chicago and before they even got to St. Louis, let alone Phoenix.
You wonder if Paul Brown learned anything about passing from Otto Graham when Carl Perkins can become the first player in Cincinnati history to enjoy three consecutive 1,000-yard receiving seasons in '96.
You wonder if the fact that Washington's Eddie Murray doesn't have even seven game-winning kicks in 14 seasons might be enough to keep him out of the Hall of Fame.
You knew that there are 14 active players whose fathers are football coaches. Those dads were no dummies: 12 of those players are quarterbacks.
You're not surprised that the coach who said, ``I believe that the day a person becomes a cynic is the day he loses his youth,'' was Buffalo's Marv Levy, a former William and Mary coach who serves as a spokesman for Literacy Volunteers.
At some point you must come to grips with the fact that the league virtually sanctions immorality and a variety of abuses by the puny punishments it hands down when one of its players breaks bad, a la Michael Irvin and Brett Favre. ILLUSTRATION: Ducibella's Picks
[For complete copy, see microfilm]
KEYWORDS: SPECIAL SECTION PREVIEW by CNB