THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, October 19, 1996 TAG: 9610190048
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E2 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Larry Maddry
LENGTH: 65 lines
TIRED OF A job that is going nowhere and a boss who doesn't understand you?
Afraid your position may be eliminated through downsizing?
Maybe it's time you considered a new career. Perhaps a career that brings in tons of money and enables you to associate with some of the most influential people in the nation on a first-name basis.
That's right, you may have what it takes to be a valued employee of rich and powerful political consulting firms as a PHOTO MANIPULATOR. Yes, photo manipulation is becoming one of the most popular professions in the global economy.
And - fortunately for you - the demand for photo manipulators has made it one of the fastest-growing occupations in Virginia.
Beyond money and power, as a photo manipulator, you will have a valued place in the community.
But perhaps more important is the inner satisfaction you will have of performing a valuable public service - bringing people together in photographs WHO MAY NEVER HAVE KNOWN OR SEEN EACH OTHER.
Better yet, if you have what it takes to be a photo manipulator, you can be earning big bucks a few weeks from now without ever having to leave the comfort and privacy of your own home.
To learn whether you have the high-tech skills necessary for a career in photo manipulation, merely take my simple test.
Here's how:
In the photo at right is a well-known Middle East dictator arm in arm with a good friend. Let's pretend that your client is a famous politician who wants to link his opponent to the dictator.
Got it? Good. Now your assignment is to make your client's opponent look like the good friend of the dictator. To begin the test, take a photo of someone you hate and paste it onto the blank space that formerly contained the head of the dictator's friend.
(A word of caution. Make sure that the head of the hated person is FACING the dictator so the photograph does not appear to have been doctored.)
Once you've finished the test, mail us your manipulated version of the printed photo and a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
Within 10 days, we'll let you know whether you have passed the test. If you've shown the necessary talent to become a rich and successful photo manipulator, you'll be eligible for the Bob Gorrell & Larry Maddry special home-study course titled ``PHOTO MANIPULATION THROUGH SHAMELESS TREACHERY AND DECEIT.'' And at a bargain price of only $500!
Mr. Gorrell is a political cartoonist for the Richmond Times-Dispatch with a proven record of facial distortion. He'll show you how to use scissors on photographs in ways you never thought possible. Within a month's time, you'll be able to put anyone you know in a photo next to a hardened criminal, a drug dealer, even the president of the United States. And no one will know the difference!
Here's are sample comments from just two of our satisfied course takers:
``My client was elected constable after following Mr. Gorrell's suggestion that I distribute a doctored photo showing his opponent shaking hands with Adolph Hitler. Brilliant. A million thanks.'' B.R. of Newport News.
``Your chapter showing how to link an opponent in intimate ways with a variety of farm animals was worth the price of the course.'' R.B. of Smithfield.
Don't delay. Send in your doctored photo now. ILLUSTRATION: Try you hand at photo manipulation by placeing the
head of someone you dislike on this scene. by CNB