THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, October 31, 1996 TAG: 9610310067
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY PAM STARR, Staff Writer
LENGTH: 83 lines
REBECCA DODGE got the call the day after Valentine's Day, the one she had been reluctantly waiting for and prayed would never come.
It was her brother, 38-year-old David Dudka of Richmond. He had been battling AIDS for several years and his body was finally succumbing to the deadly virus. Dudka, a retired Army historian, knew the end was days or even hours away.
``I'm not going to make it,'' he told his big sister. ``You've got to get here in an hour.''
Dodge and her husband, Ryland, and their four children sped to Richmond. They and Dudka's close friends sat vigil in his bedroom for the next two days as he drifted in and out of consciousness. The lights stayed on and classical music played softly in the background.
Surrounded by loved ones and enveloped in their warmth, Dudka died peacefully Saturday, Feb. 17. But his long fight against AIDS is continuing with his sister, a part-time kindergarten assistant, Jazzercise instructor, devout Methodist and unlikely AIDS activist.
On Friday night, Dodge will teach the third annual special Jazzercise class to benefit the Hampton Roads 1996 AIDS Walk for Life, which is Sunday in Norfolk and Hampton. Each of the past two years, 80 to 100 people have given a minimum of $5 to take the hourlong exercise class at a Virginia Beach school.
Dodge admitted that she had not planned to do the benefit this year, because her brother is gone. But many people asked if she would lead the class again.
``I thought about it and realized that (the class) would be a really good thing to do,'' she said. ``The best way to remember him is to help find a cure.''
Dodge hopes that eventually people will be able to talk about acquired immune deficiency syndrome the way they can discuss cancer or other ``acceptable'' diseases. With AIDS, she said, a lot of families don't want to, or are afraid to, talk about the disease because of the implications.
``A lot of AIDS patients die alone because they're afraid to tell their families,'' Dodge said, tears glistening in her blue eyes. ``But whoever is sick is still somebody's son. They were a toddler once, a best friend once.''
When Dudka first told his sister he had AIDS, she didn't believe him. She had to work through shock and denial before accepting his disease. After that, she learned as much as she could about the disease and dedicated her life to helping others affected by AIDS.
``You always think about AIDS happening to someone else,'' said Dodge, an ebullient redhead. ``People want to think they won't know anyone with AIDS.
``His illness forced us into AIDS awareness.
``My children in college call me an activist, but I don't see that at all. I just think of myself as a sister whose brother was dying.''
Dodge became a certified AIDS educator with the Red Cross and spoke to churches, schools, PTAs and company boards about AIDS education and prevention. She and her husband also started a weekly Christian support group for family and friends of people with AIDS. From five to 12 people meet every Sunday night in the Dodges' Salem Woods home to talk about their loved ones.
The support group has come full circle for Dodge. Once offering comfort and support to others, she found herself on the receiving end after Dudka's death.
``Our group has helped me so much,'' said Dodge, who emphasized that the group does not force religion on anyone and that everything said is confidential. ``Really, that's what you need the most - that time to talk. As long as you are able to keep talking about that person, then he's still living.
``The grief tends to get a little less and the memories better.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color photo by Steve Earley/The Virginian-Pilot
[Rebecca Dodge...]
Graphic
The Hampton Roads AIDS Walk for Life will be held Sunday at
1:30 p.m. at two locations: the Taiwanese Pagoda in downtown Norfolk
and at Queensway Mall in downtown Hampton. The 8-kilometer walks
raise money for private agencies that assist HIV and AIDS patients
and their caregivers. For more information, call 531-AIDS.
If you would like more information about the Christian support
group, call the Dodges at 495-8807.
The special Jazzercise class to benefit the AIDS Walk for Life will
be held at 6:30 p.m. Friday at Princess Anne Elementary School on
Seaboard Road in Virginia Beach. Door prizes and refreshments will
be available. A minimum donation of $5 is requested.
KEYWORDS: AIDS by CNB