THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, November 3, 1996 TAG: 9611010168
SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 02 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: FACES AND PLACES
SOURCE: Linda McNatt
LENGTH: 88 lines
A good child, according to Vietnamese custom, has 100 days to return to his family home after a parent's death.
Doan Than just made it.
One day in early October, lugging two suitcases - and with his wife, Thi Le, in tow - Than walked into his family home about 7 p.m. Two of his brothers, their wives and his 77-year-old mother were still sitting at the dinner table. He didn't bother to knock.
``I just stuck my head in the door and asked if anybody was home,'' Than recalled recently, as he showed pictures of his trip to his homeland.
At first, his own family members didn't recognize him. But after a few minutes, the shock and surprise of seeing a brother and son again after 15 years finally struck them.
``She cried,'' Than said. ``My mother cried.''
Two things had happened that finally took Than, who owns Suffolk Shoe Repair on West Washington Street, home.
First, he finally got his U.S. citizenship last February. He feels that it not only gave him all of the rights of American citizenship, it also gave him a thin coat of armor to wear against the Communist government that now rules his native land.
Then, his father, age 79, died in July. Father and son had just talked a few days earlier.
Last summer, Than, who has been a devoted son and has helped support his parents financially since he first came to this country in 1985, had sent money home. He talked with his father to make certain that it had arrived.
``When I talked to him, he said everything was good; his health was good,'' Than said. ``Two weeks later, my brother telephoned me. My father had died.''
Than and his wife had been planning a trip to their homeland. When news of the father's death came, they got ready to make that trip earlier than expected. But express tickets Than ordered got in too late for them to get to Vietnam for his father's funeral.
So those plans were delayed. After that, Than's goal was to return to his father's grave within the 100 days dictated by tradition.
Than was a second lieutenant in the air force in Vietnam. He worked closely with the Americans and spent time in a concentration camp because of his military connections.
On Oct. 2, he left a sign in the window of his shoe repair store: ``Sorry. I take a trip to Vietnam to see my mom. I haven't seen her in 15 years.''
And just behind the message, Than had painted a smiley face.
He and his wife spent almost three weeks in the homeland they left more than 10 years ago on a small boat packed with 61 refugees. Than was captain because he could read a compass, steer the boat and fix the engine.
For years, he said, he feared going home because of what might happen to his family. With his mother, three brothers and four sisters still living in the village of Ho Nai - and considering his long association with the Americans while he was in the military - he feared for his family's safety.
His brothers also had been in the military, he said, but none was an officer. And none of them trained in America as Than did. He was at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas in 1971 for training and to study the English language.
A few years ago, Than said, things for his Vietnamese family under Communist rule began to lighten up. But living conditions are still hard. There is one public telephone in the village where his family lives. It costs them $4 a minute to telephone Than and his family.
When he arrived back home, Than said, he contacted a friend to pick up him and Thi Le at the airport. The friend had a car and was able to take them on later to Than's mother's home.
``Having a car - there - is like owning an airplane here,'' he said. ``My brothers make their living by hauling things on an old tractor. It's maybe 40 or 50 years old. They keep it running.''
And for all of their hard work, like most Vietnamese citizens, they make an average of about $35 or $40 a month.
Than saw the most glaring contrast between life in his new home and his old when he saw the $600 monument purchased for his father's grave.
``Here, in this country, he said, something like this would cost thousands of dollars, thousands of dollars,'' he said, staring at the photo of what appears to be a colorful marble reproduction of a pagoda that he bought to mark his father's grave.
Looking over the pictures, Than said he realized once again why he's proud to be an American. MEMO: Linda McNatt writes columns about people and places of local
interest for The Sun. If you have ideas, fax them to her at 934-7515, or
call her at 934-7561. ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by MICHAEL KESTNER
Doan Than and his wife Thi Le look over photographs from their
recent trip to Vietnam. Than had not seen his family there for 15
years. by CNB