THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, November 4, 1996 TAG: 9611040054
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B3 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY NANCY LEWIS, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: VIRGINIA BEACH LENGTH: 121 lines
If the young mother with a baby on each hip glances back, she'll see a mirror image of herself - but it won't be a reflection in the glass of the revolving door.
On a balmy afternoon last week, Judy and Sarah (not their real names) passed each other and changed places.
Sarah, toddler in hand, walked into a Samaritan House shelter as Judy walked out.
The two women have never met, nor are they likely to, but they have much in common.
Both are in their mid-20s.
Both must raise their children alone, without the men who fathered them.
And both have turned to Samaritan House. The Virginia Beach shelter serves Hampton Roads families left without homes as well as those whose lives are disrupted by domestic abuse.
The paperwork seems endless, but Sarah's 3-year-old daughter is oblivious. She's so enthralled with the toys that she doesn't notice her mother crying.
Most of the time, Sarah puts up a good front. She smiles and answers the questions put to her by Rose Reed, intake hotline coordinator for Samaritan House.
But sometimes the sadness breaks through.
Reed has left the room, and the tears come as Sarah says that the love she has for her husband is unchanged. She bats at the annoying drops, then explains that she has to keep up a good front for her child.
``I have a daughter to raise, and I can't let her see me like this,'' she says so low that the girl cannot hear. ``But I still cry every night.''
Sarah's husband, a 24-year-old petty officer third class, returned from a six-month stint at sea last month and hours later drove away in the family car, ostensibly to get it repaired.
He never came back.
Sarah didn't know until she went to take money out of the bank to buy shoes for her daughter that her missing husband had reported his card stolen and closed their joint account.
The couple had put money down on a three-bedroom Jacksonville apartment in anticipation of his relocation there. They'd already sent their household belongings ahead, and Sarah had waited in Norfolk for her husband's return from sea duty.
``We got a three-bedroom, because he wanted another child,'' says Sarah, biting her lip. Her husband has filed for custody of their child, but Sarah is going to fight. And she has petitioned the court for child support.
She's also applied for food stamps, but, as a Navy wife, she's not eligible for welfare payments.
Despite the obstacles confronting her, Sarah remains hopeful that her husband will return to his family.
``I believe in the Lord, and I'm sure everything is going to work out fine,'' she says, smiling again now.
Judy Brown's position is a bit different.
She wasn't married and the six-year relationship with the father of her child fell to stress, she says, with the impending arrival of the second child.
Today she's all bubbly in anticipation of moving into an Ocean View apartment. The rent's only $300 a month. And with a part-time minimum-wage job in a fast-food restaurant, plus food stamps, she thinks she'll make it. It's just the day-care costs that bog her down.
``She's in a Catch-22,'' says Carol Winkelsas, Judy's Samaritan House counselor. She explains that Judy may earn too much to qualify for welfare, in which case she won't be able to get day care through the city's Department of Social Services.
Then, Judy will have to pay at least $60 a week for child care, and that's a big chunk of her $142 paycheck. But for the next year, she'll get help and guidance from her Samaritan House counselor.
The organization paid Judy's outstanding electric bill and her first month's rent and deposit, and also bought her furniture. Those are some of the details of daily life the non-profit group looks to when it gives hundreds of families a fresh start each year.
Between a quarter and a half of the families served are, or have been, in the military, said Ellen Cospito-Ferber, executive director of Samaritan House.
About 100 people - 65 percent of them children - are housed on an average day in the organization's six emergency shelters, four transitional homes and seven apartments. But Cospito-Ferber must turn away eight families for every one she finds a place for.
``We and other providers need to be able to expand to take care of them,'' she said. Samaritan House's high rate of success - 81 percent of clients remain independent a year after discharge compared with the national average of 50 percent - is due to the financial assistance and aftercare they receive, says Cospito-Ferber.
``Our next big push will be for a community outreach center . . . with attorneys, physicians, women who've been there.''
Samaritan maintains a 24-hour domestic abuse hotline and follows up on every reported case of domestic violence in the city.
Last year, Samaritan House received nearly $70,000 from United Way of Hampton Roads. A portion of the money came from the Combined Federal Campaign, which includes military sources.
It helps those like Sarah and Judy.
Two women.
Three girls.
Two missing fathers.
The swish of the revolving door stops.
Sarah holds tight the hand of her toddler. She wipes at her wet face with the other.
The women pass at the door, strangers on the same route. The glare of sunlight glancing off glass distorts the image, but Sarah makes out Judy's outline.
Judy turns, hoists her infants higher on her hips and walks on. ILLUSTRATION: At left: Judy Brown, at far left, with the help of
Carol Winkelsas, her Samaritan House counselor, became independent
enough to live on her own with her babies - Kayla and Sammie, below,
resting at the Virginia Beach shelter. When Judy's six-year
relationship with the children's father ended, she needed help and
advice to get back on her feet.
MOTOYA NAKAMURA photos
The Virginian-Pilot
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UNITED WAY CAMPAIGN GOALS
SOURCE: United Way
KEYWORDS: UNITED WAY by CNB