THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, November 11, 1996 TAG: 9611110141
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Bob Molinaro
LENGTH: 70 lines
Quibbling over the nickname for a yet-to-exist NHL team is a little like putting the cart before the rhinoceros.
Still, I'm already hearing mild, scattered complaints about George Shinn's intent to associate the Hampton Roads franchise with a four-legged, three-toed, two-horned, one-ton, shrub-eating, mud-wallowing, armor-skinned, nearsighted, wrinkled, inelegant, hideous, almost extinct creature from a faraway, mysterious place.
``What is it with the Rhinos?'' a member of my household whined. ``Are we in Kenya or something?''
Some wonder why Hampton Roads' hoped-for team shouldn't be baptized with water; in other words, given a nautical name that ties in with the surroundings.
Bays would relate to the Chesapeake, Destroyers to the Navy, Breakers to the oceanfront, Tankers to the shipping industry, Clippers to local history. Almost anything would be more area-appropriate than Rhinos.
The Rhinos charged to the top of Shinn's list when he thought he'd be bringing a hockey team to Raleigh. The alliteration - Raleigh Rhinos - appealed to him. Also, Rhinos had been tossed about in recent years as one of the cool 21st-century names; it was considered briefly for Baltimore's new NFL entry.
Rhinos, no question, requires some getting used to. But choosing a colorful, classy nickname is harder than it once was. It's been noted here before that all good team names have been used up, and that the downward spiral in sports appellations began when franchises started being named after weather patterns.
In any case, what can you expect from a league that gave us the Mighty Ducks?
Before you reject Rhinos, though, keep in mind that Norfolk just happens to be home to a pair of white rhinoceros - Rufus and Jesse, residents of the Virginia Zoo. This makes Hampton Roads, I believe, the rhino capital of Virginia.
Rumor has it that before last week's Shinn-dig at the downtown Marriott, somebody associated with the city of Norfolk allegedly had the bright idea to march a member of our local rhino population through the lobby and into a ballroom full of unsuspecting people.
The publicity stunt was abandoned for fear that the rhino would go on a rampage, or because officials couldn't find a volunteer willing to walk behind the animal with a large shovel.
Furrow-faced, with doleful eyes and a knobby torso, the rhinoceros is not usually mistaken for the life of the party. But the rhino is no stranger to fun and games. Before the time of Christ, the Romans used it in their circuses.
As a symbol for a hockey team, the rhino is no less appropriate than a duck. The rhino is fierce when provoked. And while appearing to be clumsy, it is a swift mover when it has to be.
Rhinos is no worse than Heat or Galaxy or that insipid new handle being hung on the Washington Bullets - Wizards.
Rhinos is appropriate, too, when you consider the way Shinn charged into Hampton Roads, snorting promises while stomping barriers.
And let's face it, the kids will love Rudy the Rhino, or whatever the mascot might eventually be called.
Maybe you have to be from Raleigh, Kenya or George Shinn's private jungle to appreciate what's going on here. But while we mull over this Rhinos question, let's give Ogden Nash the last word.
The rhino is a homely beast,
For human eyes he's not a feast,
But you and I will never know
Why Nature chose to make him so. Farewell, farewell, you old rhinoceros,
I'll stare at something less prepoceros. by CNB