THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT  
              Copyright (c) 1997, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Friday, January 3, 1997               TAG: 9701010035
SECTION: DAILY BREAK             PAGE: E1   EDITION: FINAL 
COLUMN: LISTEN UP!
SOURCE: BY KAREN PERREAULT AND LAMONT-DEANGELO FEREBEE 
                                            LENGTH:   42 lines

ASK PARENTS WHY THEY'RE BEING OVERPROTECTIVE

DEAR KAREN AND LAMONT: I have a serious problem. My parents are extremely over-protective, to the point of possessiveness. My mom tries to make me believe I'm crazy, and my dad won't let me be my own person. What can I do? - Trapped

Dear Trapped: Unfortunately, there is not a whole lot that you can do if you are still a minor - you can't move out on your own, for example.

Sometimes parents get a little crazy because they too have fears, worries that you'll make the same mistakes they did. Thus, they try to do anything and everything to force their kids' lives in a different direction.

Try to talk to your parents about what they are afraid of and why they are so restrictive. Maybe after you and your parents talk, they'll realize that don't need to be so fearful. You might also gain a better understanding of why they are so restrictive.

Your situation sounds rather odd, so if you feel manipulated you need to seek a support group. This may be a group of close friends, relatives, teachers, or even religious advisors.

Over-protective parents come a dime a dozen, but parents who won't let their children live for themselves, make their own decisions and their own mistakes, sound a little creepy. We suggest family counseling somewhere down the line.

Whatever you do, you need to find a balance. Ultimately, you and only you know what is best for you but don't disown your parents or ignore everything they say.

Your parents will always be your parents but they can't run your life forever. MEMO: Karen Perreault is a senior at Maury High School and

Lamont-Deangelo Ferebee is a sophomore at Norfolk State University.

Their column appears biweekly in Teenology. You can ask questions by

calling INFOLINE at 640-5555 and entering category 8335, or write to

them at Listen Up!, 4565 Virginia Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va.

23462.