THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1997, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, January 19, 1997 TAG: 9701170171
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E12 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: The Imperfect Navigator
SOURCE: Alexandria Berger
LENGTH: 55 lines
JONBENET RAMSEY is dead. No police announcement charging her killer, no $1,200 dress will bring her back.
Am I angry? You bet I am.
Long before JonBenet's brutal murder, some astute legislator should have moved to kill off child beauty pageants, which promote children posing and masquerading as 20-year-old adults.
JonBenet suffered from the disabling syndrome ``premature adulthood.'' She was given it as a gift by her well-meaning parents, whose wealth and community standing weren't enough to bolster their own egos.
We live in a society that tries to make its children perfect. It's all part of our obsession with perfection. We must have the perfect nose, the perfect hair, the perfect body, the perfect car, the perfect house, the perfect job. Every ad, every infomercial tells us what perfect is. And if we feel imperfect, we can always create the perfect child.
The face of this Denver 6-year-old should have been clean, except perhaps at Halloween, a fantasy birthday party or when playing dress-up. JonBenet wasn't playing dress-up. She played for high stakes, trophies and magazine covers. While her parents stated, ``She wanted to do it,'' whose idea was it? Certainly not JonBenet's.
Televised clips show Little Miss Whatevers with their hair in curlers nervously rehearsing adult songs in motel rooms. This sort of activity raises children's stress levels and confuses identity.
Being forced to wear miniature Las Vegas-style costumes, costing more than most people earn in a month, teaches a child self-centered, shallow values. A little girl standing backstage, watching her nail-biting family waiting tensely to hear if she's won, reinforces her fear of failure. At the tender age of 6, a child wants what her parents want. JonBenet's parents wanted JonBenet to win. Being worthy of Mommy and Daddy's approval is not about winning.
The Ramseys learned this too late.
For parents to teach a child that one gains self-esteem, love and acceptance from mimicking alluring adult mannerisms is to advocate legalized child pornography.
These parents are forgetting the child's needs in preference to their own need to experience vicarious adulation. They repeatedly expose their young daughters unnecessarily to dangerous situations by buying into artificial glamour.
During an initial press conference with JonBenet Ramsey's parents, her mother tearfully pleaded for parents to guard their children. I plead for parents to keep their kids out of these stupid adult egofests. MEMO: Write to Alexandria Berger, c/o Features, Virginian-Pilot, 150 W.
Brambleton Avenue, Norfolk, Va. 23510.
The column name was omitted from the printed article.