
DATE: Monday, April 28, 1997                TAG: 9704280038

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B1   EDITION: NORTH CAROLINA 

TYPE: Letter 

                                            LENGTH:  215 lines

LETTERS TO EDITOR -- NORTH CAROLINA

A tribute to Mary Anne Lindsey

I met Mary Anne Lindsey for the first time in late September of 1995, a month or so after my beloved wife died. That death followed a horrendous yearlong battle with cancer, and as soon as possible afterward I fled our rural Ohio home and the appalling ghosts it now contained and headed for a place where the memories at least were pleasant: the Kitty Hawk cottage in which we had planned possibly to live in retirement and certainly to spend more time than my workaday constraints previously had allowed.

Soon after my arrival I received a phone call from Mary Anne, the local hospice director. She did not mean to intrude, she said, but she was available for some conversation if I was in the mood. I wasn't. I knew my grief was something I'd have to get through on my own. That didn't work. Finally, I called Mary Anne.

We talked for a long while and on several subsequent occasions, and she listened. Mary Anne gave no lectures - that wasn't her style. She assiduously avoided the cliches that constituted the typical reaction to my situation.

Still, she managed to get a few important words in edgewise. The ocean, she said as we sat on the beach gazing at it, along with its other attributes, doesn't mind being screamed at. If all I could do was sit motionless in a chair for hours, she said, that probably was what I should be doing; the mistake was believing that the condition was permanent. My resistance to becoming dependent on chemicals was foolish, she said, when anti-depressants could be of great help on a temporary basis.

She also - and this may have been the most important thing - put me to work. Next thing I knew, I was writing press releases for hospice and delivering them to Outer Banks newspaper offices and radio stations.

Soon I found myself calling on area banks seeking authorization to set up displays for the sale of hospice Christmas greeting cards. I discovered that I could move and even act after all. I was still a mess when I left for Ohio that November, but much less of one than I had been.

We talked by phone a few times over that winter and I informed Mary Anne that I had taken her advice and joined the ranks of the Prozac generation and that the tiny pills helped a lot as she knew they would. When I returned to the Outer Banks the following April I screamed at the ocean much less often.

I think it was over the ensuing summer that I came to realize how Mary Anne in my mind had taken on the visage of another natural attraction of the Outer Banks. To the sun, the sand, the sea and the stars, now was added Mary Anne. I saw her only once or twice during my Kitty Hawk stay last fall, but those occasions were among its highlights, and soon I no longer needed the help that Mary Anne was so adept at bestowing.

Still, while suffering through the most recent Ohio winter, I looked forward to seeing her this spring.

It was not to be.

In recent days I have talked with her sister and two or three hospice associates and friends. All separately recalled their overwhelming shock and sense of loss at what had happened. There was no illness, no hint of a problem, no warning. On the evening of last Jan. 9, Mary Anne said she wasn't feeling well and went to bed early. She died in her sleep. She was 53.

I think back now to our times together, how much she meant to me, how much she helped. I was a despairing stranger and this woman, despite her full-time job and additional hospice duties, gave so freely of her time, her energy, her very self - seeming to believe that my recovery was the primary goal of her life.

I know I am not alone. I have no idea how many other people Mary Anne helped, either in a similar way or some other, but I suspect their number is great. In terms of empathy, of compassion, of an abiding desire to aid other members of the human family and an unmatched skill in achieving that end, she was utterly remarkable.

No community ever had too many Mary Anne Lindseys and no community can lose one so rare and great without being permanently diminished. The sun, the sand, the sea, the stars - these all remain, of course, but the Outer Banks has lost another of its treasures.

Joe Lersky

Kitty Hawk

Half plus half not one

One half plus one half doesn't always equal one whole.

One little school plus one little school won't equal one big school.

A piece of a teacher here and a piece of a teacher there won't add up to a good curriculum.

Forget your Beach and Manteo egos.

Think of education.

Vote no on this bond.

Let's try again.

E.H. North Jr.

Kitty Hawk

Opposes lottery

The promotion of a state lottery is another bad idea. It encourages people who can least afford it to squander their money (much of it is welfare money sorely needed to feed their children) on an immoral dream sponsored by the government.

It's illegal for adults to have a friendly wager on the toss of a coin or the roll of the dice, but it's somehow all right for the government to steal money from its citizens on false pretenses of ``get rich quick.''

It's like prostitution. It's as though it's legal for the government to run a ``house of ill repute,'' but a freelance prostitute would be jailed. State-run brothels would be wrong and so is state-promoted gambling.

Charles Elms

Manteo

Sharing' information

I have followed the school bond issue very carefully and have kept an accurate record of responses made by the Board of Education to the questions and concerns of citizens in Dare County. I feel it would be unfair if I did not share the information I have collected.

Due to lack of space, there are probably responses I have left out. I apologize, but I hope the information I have shared will be helpful to other voters in making a decision when going to the polls on May 20th. I know it has been a tremendous help to me in making up my mind.

Joseph Hassell

Manns Harbor

Praise for Bob Nicholl

Kitty Hawk's new town manager, Sean Anderson, has big shoes to fill. Bob Nicholl, who has been managing our town for over eight years, will be leaving us at the end of April. Under his wise guidance our town has run smoothly and efficiently.

Bob has been a ``hands-on'' manager - out on the streets during town projects as well as emergency situations, and has always been available to town citizens and our concerns. He has never been arrogant, as if he was above anyone, or condescending, as if he was trying to please everyone - he is an honest ``straight shooter.'' Moreover, he has established continuity, conscious awareness, and loyal interaction between the citizens and our elected officials.

Kitty Hawk is privileged not to have the turmoil and adversity that often exist in other governments in this county. Our government listens to its citizens and serves us proudly, without ``attitude'' (that they know better). When a controversial situation arises that affects the citizens, they bring it to the people, listen, and act accordingly with no adverse effect to their egos. As a result there is rarely any opposition in town elections. In the last election no one ran against the two incumbents, and even though they would be automatically re-elected, many of us voted just to show our appreciation. I truly hope that the way our town government is running does not change with Bob out of the equation.

God be with you, Bob Nicholl - Kitty Hawk will miss you and thank you for your dedication and service.

Becky Melton

Kitty Hawk

10 reasons to vote yes

War is being waged over the Dare County school bond issue and unfortunately the weapons being used are innuendo, implication, and supposition. We must get beyond the misunderstandings and get to the facts.

Fact 1: There are at present too many young people attempting to get an education at Manteo High School. Enrollment as of the beginning of the 1996 school year was 979 in a facility designed for 720.

Fact 2: Manteo High School cannot be enlarged to accommodate this larger student body.

Fact 3: Dare County has experienced tremendous growth in the past 20 years.

Fact 4: The bond covers more than just building a high school.

Fact 5: The need for the construction, renovation, and maintenance covered by this bond was not discovered just in the last few months.

Fact 6: According to Dare County Finance Director J. David Clawson, an average tax increase required to pay for a 15-year bond issue would be 7.75 cents.

Fact 7: There will not be unequal curriculum in two high schools.

Fact 8: Small schools have distinct advantages over large schools.

Fact 9: This is not a political issue; our children don't show up at school each day with little R's or little D's stitched on their clothing.

Fact 10: This bond issue is not about racial segregation of the schools.

One more thing: Several people have written scathing letters calling for the resignation of a couple of School Board members. This is deplorable. A confrontation between a School Board member and a teacher was decidedly not to be wished. And let's face it, it was avoidable. But those who wrote those ugly letters cannot possibly know exactly what happened because they weren't there, and should have refrained from comment. The only ones who do know how things went were those present, and they have chosen to remain silent. Good for them. There can be no place in public discourse for calling names and making demands or threats.

Kathryne Thompson

Nags Head

Saltwater madness

It is truly a sad time in the democratic process when the people's ideas, wishes, and beliefs are cast aside by our elected officials in a stampede of bureaucratic greed.

This is exactly what is happening with the Recreational Saltwater Fishing License.

At all the meetings held concerning this issue there has been a raging opposition against it, yet our fine leaders seem hell-bent on ramming it down the public's throat.

What I feel that is even worse than this is the fact that our county commissioners won't pass a resolution stating that they are opposed to this license.

Also an even greater tragedy is the fact that the Tourist Bureau and the Chamber of Commerce have sat by with their heads shoved in the sand hoping that by not taking a stand that they will somehow be blessed with some of the blood money gathered from this thing if in fact it is rammed down our throats.

Anyone who is ignorant enough to believe that this money will benefit the resource should take a look at the way the resource is managed now.

1. The flounder season is prematurely shut down with the best sign of fish that there has ever been, in turn causing undue hardships, or should I say unnecessary hardships, to an already struggling industry.

2. The striped bass fishery is just as mismanaged as the flounder fishery if not more so.

I run a charter boat in the summer and commercial fish in the winter, and believe you me this license is nothing short of public rape with our fine leaders acting as a smiling rapist.

To take and attempt to license the tourists who chose this state to spend millions of their hard-earned dollars in is absurd. I for the life of me can't believe with as much money as commercial and sportfishing bring into this state and county that our leaders are the ones who have perpetrated this ``wolf in sheep's clothing.''

We all stand to lose on this one. To go do a little fishing down on the dock, beach or creek will be a thing of the past unless you're ``properly documented, certified, and very well informed'' and as far as having that nice fresh seafood dinner out on the town, forget it, because it will be imported, because all the local commercial fishermen will be out of business.

Rick Caton

Manteo

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