DATE: Monday, May 5, 1997                   TAG: 9705050041

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B1   EDITION: FINAL 

SOURCE: BY LORRAINE EATON, STAFF WRITER 

DATELINE: NORFOLK                           LENGTH:  114 lines

PEER GROUP HELPS TEENS AVOID PERILS OF STREET LIFE IN THE '90S SELF-SUFFICIENCY AND EDUCATION FORM BASIS OF MEMBERS' SUCCESS.

At about the time that Hillary Rodham Clinton was basking in a standing ovation at the end of the volunteer summit in Philadelphia, Carolyn Latham was getting down to business with 13 teen-age girls in Roberts Village.

``We've got to have some more rules,'' Latham says. ``You can't miss more than one meeting; if you miss three, you can't do the fun things. This is not just a social club. Now here's my pager number. If you are not going to be here, you call.''

Her tone is pleasant, yet firm.

``But Miss Carolyn, sometimes we don't have time. What if . . .'' one girl pleads.

She's cut off. Miss Carolyn is shaking her head. ``What do you mean you don't have time? I have to know where you are at.''

To the girls, Carolyn Latham is ``Miss Carolyn,'' part mother, part mentor, part motivator. She is the founder of Ladies' Day Out, a club for teen-age girls in Roberts Village, a Norfolk neighborhood with one of the highest violent crime rates in the city. It got its start last summer, two weeks after Latham's 15-year-old niece was killed accidentally by a 26-year-old man. Another neighborhood girl was shot a week later. Sitting on the porch of her house, which she says is on the bad side of a bad neighborhood, Latham kept thinking, ``This has got to stop. There has to be something better than this.''

As parents of four daughters, Latham and her husband, Victor, have always opened their home as a gathering spot for neighborhood girls. Ten, 12 each day come to eat, talk, do their homework, watch TV. If these girls in her living room could just get outside Roberts Village, experience some of the finer things in life, they would be motivated to do well in school, plan careers, be productive, Latham thought.

``There's good things out there,'' Latham said. ``They just have to have someone to show them.''

Latham's hypothesis falls neatly in line with ideas set forth in the Presidents' Summit for America's Future, the glitzy three-day meeting aimed at rallying adult volunteers to mentor, protect, nurture and teach young people. But Latham didn't even hear about the summit until it was almost over. She didn't really need to. She already knew what she had to do.

The first meeting of Ladies' Day Out took place in September. Five girls, including two of Latham's teen-age daughters, showed up at the Roberts Village community center.

Since then the group has grown as the word has gotten out. They've done some fund raising. And they've done a little traveling, including a trip to Isle of Wight County for a 4-H competition where they modeled outfits and won three blue ribbons and two red ribbons for their poise and knowledge of the clothing.

A cornerstone of the club is self-sufficiency. Latham, 36, started work at age 16. Her most recent jobs included a position as cook supervisor at Norfolk Health Center and as a dietary and nutrition assistant at DePaul Medical Center. Latham was disabled two years ago by multiple sclerosis.

The group doesn't get funding from the city's housing authority, or any other organization. They earn their own way with the help of Miss Carolyn and other parents who donated food for fund-raising events. So far they've had several, including a dance and a Valentine's Day dinner. Miss Carolyn cooked that night and the members served lasagna and fried chicken to Roberts Park residents who dined by candlelight in the community center for $3 each. The girls cleared $50.

``It's better without depending on other people,'' said Jessica Hairston, an eighth-grader at Azalea Gardens Middle School.

Miss Carolyn wants her members to be smart, too.

They must go to school. Showing report cards to Miss Carolyn is part of the program. If a member falls down in a subject, Miss Carolyn calls the school and finds a way to get the girl some extra help.

Later this year, the girls will go to Virginia Tech to see what the state's largest college is like. They've already spent an entire day at Norfolk State University learning about different careers.

``That's right,'' Latham said. ``I tell them to have a career, not a job.''

Miss Carolyn isn't timid about fussing or scolding her girls. They might leave mad, but they come back. They sense the value of the club. The girls see plenty of their peers heading in the wrong direction, hanging out in the streets and getting into drugs. The club ``makes me stay out of trouble and keeps me busy,'' Jessica said.

A probation officer, an expert on dressing and self-esteem, and a job counselor - these are the types of speakers that Miss Carolyn lines up for workshops. And she travels all over the city to meetings on topics like welfare reform and public housing, taking notes and bringing the information back to her ladies.

``If there's changes taking place in public housing that will affect them and their families, they need to know, to be prepared for changes,'' she said. ``They can go back and tell their parents.''

Sometimes at twice-monthly club meetings, after business is done, the girls just talk. Sometimes the talk escalates into arguments, like the time they debated the United States giving aid to other countries when people home need help.

One girl got so mad during that one that she stormed out.

For a whole week, Miss Carolyn prayed for them all. Even went into her bedroom and cried a little. Now ``how to argue'' is just another item for an upcoming agenda.

``I'm trying to teach them to be a unit, that it's OK to disagree, to be together,'' she said. ``I'm trying to teach them what true friendship is.''

And the club members also want to be role models. They're in the throes now of planning a tea party for 2 1/2- to 8-year-old girls in the neighborhood to get them involved. They decide to serve Kool-Aid instead of hot tea.

As their last April meeting comes to a close, the girls try to decide where to go on their next outing. The Spirit of Norfolk? The Virginia Marine Science Museum? Luray Caverns?

They agree on an ``elegant dinner'' at Captain John's.

And then Sheva Murray, a sophomore at Norview High, volunteers to say the closing prayer. Everyone holds hands. ``Dear God,'' Sheva begins. ``I know you haven't heard from me since, well . . . I pray that you look over us, keep us safe, that we survive until the next meeting.''

There is more prayer, and then a murmur of amens. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo by BETH BERGMAN/The Virginian-Pilot

Carolyn Latham - at left, wearing glasses - leads a group for

teen-age girls in Roberts Village. Her mission: to let them

experience some of the better things in life, motivating them to do

well in school and plan careers.

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