DATE: Tuesday, May 27, 1997                 TAG: 9705270035

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B5   EDITION: FINAL 

SOURCE: BY VANEE VINES, STAFF WRITER 

DATELINE: PORTSMOUTH                        LENGTH:   93 lines

FINDING WAYS TO SETTLE DISAGREEMENTS PEACEFULLY CLASSES BRING PORTSMOUTH PUBLIC-HOUSING NEIGHBORS TOGETHER TO LEARN TO TALK IT OUT.

PORTSMOUTH - There were tales of neighbors who enjoyed starting trouble, and he-said-she-said disputes that erupted into big fights.

Other residents talked about confrontations that turned ugly because someone approached them in a way that got on their last nerve.

The group - two school counselors, a city housing authority administrator and several city residents - began meeting this past week in Washington Park as part of a citywide effort focused primarily on teaching public-housing residents ways to solve conflicts peacefully.

By the time the ``conflict mediation'' program wraps up this summer, it will have taken lessons in everything from dealing with anger to listening and communicating effectively to groups of residents in all six public-housing communities.

Some residents also may get further training to become neighborhood mediators, people who will help their neighbors find common ground when problems arise.

The lessons could be applied in any community.

Portsmouth's Redevelopment and Housing Authority is focusing on public housing residents because of a special $11,400 grant from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. The authority will give about $10,500 of that to the school district for running the sessions.

Residents at the Washington Park meeting said the lessons could be helpful. But being aware of non-violent, non-confrontational ways to handle problems and actually using them when one's blood is boiling are two different things, several said.

And such programs really aren't designed to address the deep sense of frustration and hopelessness that can sometimes leave the urban poor on edge.

Still, most participants said the sessions were a good idea.

``I've always been good with people, but this is something that could help me help people more,'' 18-year-old Washington Park resident Dena Jordan said last week at the first of four evening sessions.

Organizers say the sessions are not aimed only at teaching participants, mostly adults, new skills.

Another important goal is to help develop neighborhood-based mediation groups of residents trained in the techniques, they said.

School officials also point out that children are more likely to model appropriate behavior at school when they see examples at home.

Some city schools already have conflict-mediation programs, in which students help solve problems among peers.

But the administration plans to jump-start the programs at schools districtwide in the upcoming year.

Swanson Homes resident Deborah Cotton brought her 4-year-old twin girls and a friend with her to Tuesday's Washington Park meeting.

Cotton, a petite twentysomething, was one of the residents authority officials strongly urged to participate.

She recently was involved in an incident in which she threatened a group of other women with a box cutter because she felt they were ganging up on her, she said.

But she really doesn't like things to reach that point, she said. She also doesn't like to fuss around her children.

``I know the things I do, they're gonna do.''

In a role-playing activity Tuesday with Karen Battle, a PRHA manager, Cotton played the person who had to calm Battle down so a problem could be worked out.

With her index finger waving all the while, Battle played the role of a resident ticked off by gossip that stemmed from something Cotton reportedly said about her.

After a few attempts, Cotton got the hang of maintaining control while Battle vented.

She even asked Battle if she could at least lower her finger and step back - so they could have a civil conversation.

School resource counselor Seko Varner, who led the session with counselor Nina Jones, later explained that the program wasn't set up to turn anyone into a doormat.

Instead, people must understand that physical contact shouldn't be a first step, he said, adding that deeper issues, such as respect, are often at the root of trivial disputes.

``A lot of us have been trained how to fight,'' he told the group.

``A lot of us have not been trained how to solve problems.''

Cotton's friend Shaunita Jones, a Swanson Homes resident, agreed. Jones, 20, participated in several days of the training in her own community.

``It helped a lot by showing me, like, if I'm in an argument with someone, you have to let them vent and then you respond by asking questions about the situation,'' she said.

``And by you asking questions, sometimes it will help them lower their voices or settle down. Then, maybe, you can start solving the problem.'' ILLUSTRATION: Photo

GARY C. KNAPP

Nina Frola Jones, a Churchland Middle School counselor, works with

residents of Swanson Homes on finding peaceful ways to solve

conflicts. By summer's end, residents in all of Portsmouth's public

housing communities will be offered the training.

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