DATE: Sunday, October 26, 1997              TAG: 9710240152

SECTION: PORTSMOUTH CURRENTS     PAGE: 02   EDITION: FINAL 

COLUMN: IDA KAY'S PORTSMOUTH 

SOURCE: Ida Kay Jordan 

                                            LENGTH:   67 lines

PARENTS NEED TO WORK WITH SCHOOLS, NOT AGAINST THEM

Parents need to start acting like parents instead of kids.

What a statement by a Woodrow Wilson High School student! She was quoted in a story about a meeting to discuss a recent brawl at the school.

I wasn't there, but apparently the parents were as out-of-hand as the students had been during the previous week's brawl. Some walked out of the meeting when they didn't get instant gratification. Others stayed and engaged in heated exchanges.

No wonder we have problems in the schools with the kids. If their parents behave like children, how can their kids be expected to do otherwise?

Being of a certain age, I remember when youngsters were taught respect for schoolteachers and administrators. That didn't mean either parents or students always agreed with everybody, but they didn't enter into brawls with them.

In fact, most parents would not have thought of verbally assaulting a teacher or a principal in front of their children - even when they thought a teacher or a principal might be in the wrong. Differences with the schools were settled behind closed doors,and students seldom knew about them.

Decorum was preserved, and students showed respect for the teachers and administrators. That cut down a lot on discipline problems in the schools, so there was more time for learning.

From reports of the meeting at Wilson, it seems that very few constructive ideas came out of the session. Rather, the adults seemed more into criticizing than anything.

One interesting comment came from a parent who said the Wilson students were ``treated like they are second best.'' I seriously doubt that, but any parent who feels that way should ask to have a child transferred to either Churchland or I.C. Norcom.

Wilson High is located in the former Manor High building, a relatively new structure with many nice features. I bet the faculty at the school is the same as the faculty anywhere else - that is, some good teachers and some not-so-good teachers. That variation always has been - even back in the good old days - and always will be present.

But a lack of discipline makes good teachers struggle and not-so-good teachers worse.

The discipline does not begin at school. Most unruly kids learn their behavior at home, some by example and some by permissiveness.

When the youngsters arrive at school and someone tries to discipline them, many parents blame the schools for their children's problems. It always amazes me to hear a parent take the side of a child who has gotten into trouble for bad behavior.

I simply never remember anybody blaming me for something that I did not bring on myself during my school years. I don't believe things are any different now.

At some point, children must be taught that they cannot do whatever they feel like doing whenever they feel like doing it.

Life just doesn't work that way.

The brouhaha at Wilson seems a good example of what happens when you have too many people who think they can do whatever they want to do. Now it appears that some of the parents are trying to blame it all on the schools.

But, turn things around. What happens when the schools crack down on discipline? Over the years, I've heard many parents complain about schools being too tough.

I personally think the school administrators should be very tough on high school students. It's their last chance to learn how to control their impulses in order to function in the world.

Perhaps the anger expressed by parents about the melee last week should be taken as a signal to crack down on student behavior and not to shrink from tough discipline in the face of complaints from students or their parents.

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