DATE: Thursday, November 19, 1997           TAG: 9711190531

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B3   EDITION: FINAL 

COLUMN: Neighborhood Exchange 

TYPE: Public Life 

SOURCE: BY MIKE KNEPLER, STAFF WRITER 

                                            LENGTH:   66 lines

``COOL MOM'' TALKS TO KIDS ABOUT DRUGS, SEX AND AIDS

Eight teens came to one of Barbara Hatton's neighborhood talks on AIDS, sex and drugs last Saturday.

She had hoped for 25 to 30.

Disappointing, yes. But, she says, she has to stay focused. The numbers are rising for Virginia teens, ages 13 to 19, newly infected with HIV - 3,193 in 1996, 20 percent more than in 1995.

HIV causes AIDS, which ruins the body's immune system.

``The information needs to get out'' to teens, said Hatton, who lives in The Villages townhouses in Virginia Beach. ``Even if just one person attends, that's one person I'm going to help. I'm not going to let a limited number stop me.''

Hatton, 34, has been talking with teen-age boys about sex for a couple of years. Most are friends of her son, Kendric, now 13.

Kendric was 10 when he began asking his mom about sex. Barbara Hatton was bashful at first. But her embarrassment faded as she and her son talked more often.

Then her son's friends - from nearby neighborhoods - began questioning her. ``They think I'm the cool mom. They're comfortable to ask me things,'' Hatton said.

Last year, Hatton noticed that boys and girls at her son's birthday party seemed to be ``going a little too fast.'' So she decided to organize an educational meeting for teen-age boys in her community.

This fall, she included girls.

Saturday's program drew youngsters ages 11 to 16. Their parents signed consent forms.

Speakers included Community Services counselors, a police officer, and two HIV-positive adults from the Tidewater AIDS Crisis Taskforce.

They showed a video about teens and AIDS. A background song went: ``Make your choices. Use your mind. Because in life, there's no rewind.''

The adults emphasized abstinence until marriage. They warned against drugs, but also against sharing needles for tattoos and body piercing. They implored the kids to say no to peer pressure. They had frank words about sex, quizzed the youths and invited tough questions.

But they also demonstrated how to use a condom - on a banana and a zucchini. ``It's sad,'' said one of the counselors with HIV. ``But these are the times we live in. We have to protect ourselves.''

To the girls, the counselor added: ``When you go to bed with him, you're going to bed with everybody he ever had sex with.''

The kids were pensive as they left.

``A lot of young teen-agers out here are having unprotected sex, and I could give them the information I learned,'' said one girl, Candis, 14.

Some kids said they already talk with their parents. Others wished they could.

Hatton's advice to parents: Hang in there. Don't give in to embarrassment - yours or your children's. Too much is at risk.

Hatton knows from experience. She became a single mom at 21.

One more key message from this ``cool mom'': Having sex because ``everybody else says they're doing it . . . doesn't make you cool.'' MEMO: For tips on hosting a teen talk on AIDS, sex and drugs, call

Barbara Hatton, 441-1899.

Story ideas for this column? Call Mike Knepler, 446-2275. ILLUSTRATION: Photo

Barbara Hatton

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